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Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 16, 2000 || 5:48 pm

I already had a loathing/distaste for The Gap. With the advent of their newest ad campaign, it is now nothing short of MASSIVE.

Surely to God if you have a television, watch it a little and are not comatose, you have seen these really annoying snippets of retail pimping courtesy of the great conglomerate of textile that is The Gap. They feature kids doing a mock-up performance of “You Really Got Me” (Oh, thou stinky defilers of this monstrous rock classic!!). One is a prepubescent grrl band and the other is a poorly choreographed (as well as executed) boy band (prepubescent as well).

Not only do these commercials SUCK, they are in heavy rotation and seem to be on my television every 30 minutes when it is up and running (I am one of those retards that leave it on for the background noise).

Of course, I object on the whole “HEY PEDOPHILES, looky here!!!” level. Mostly I just object because they are crappily done on the audiovisual level and they are dull, dull, DULL.

Hey Gap, you suck. Fire your kitschy ad jerkoffs. They are raping your checkbook. They have effectively killed any chance that I might peel off some greenbacks if I were ever to accidentally stumble into your retail space after having been clubbed on the head or drugged at a fratboy watering hole.

I hate you, Gap. I really, really do. Child labor wasn’t enough for ya? You just HAD to find another venue to exploit ‘em in?? JEEZUS.

“How would you like it if the tables turned/And we put your kind to death?”
// Red September, “Welcome to the Other Side”

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