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Archive for January, 2001

 
|| January 25, 2001 || 2:39 pm || Comments (0) ||

Maybe it’s because I am trying to kick the Mountain Dew (proudly manufactured and distributed by PepsiCo) habit. Well, not so much trying to kick it as tame it, get it back under control. Rein it in to where it’s supposed to be, so that I don’t feel like I could hock up a phlegmmy gob when I explore notes in my upper register. We’ll discuss my minimal smoking habit at a later date, THANKS. Ahem.

Anyway, maybe it’s the whole less caffeine thing that is making me so introspective/retrospective/reflective the past few days. I am all wild thoughts and barely-restrained self. I am all nervy and raw, like I could jump out of my skin if someone brushes against me. I am all pent up and ready to burst out with a cacophony of words and tears and muted reckonings that should have been dealt long ago.

What do you say to someone when you realize that, due to your ignorance of their past condition or your lack of wisdom or consciousness on a higher plane or whatever, you neglected to say some things to them that you really, REALLY should have? How do you approach that? DO you even approach the subject(s) at hand? Do you lay it to rest in your own heart and head and spirit by putting it out there, and hope that it brings them comfort and a sense of gladness for just having known after all this time? Do you let it go where they are concerned for fear of setting some grief or hurt or regret ablaze? You know you will forever continue to carry it around, piling the everydayness on top that will help it shut the fuck up for a time (until it comes roaring forth again) or maybe –just maybe, if good fortune and mercy prevail– GO AWAY…. What do you do, oh, WHATthefuckDO YOU DO???

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Can someone please tell me just why it is that there is a song by U2 attached to every single person that I have ever in my life felt very passionately about? If by some slim chance you see this, AF, this one is yours….

If you twist and turn away

If you tear yourself in two again

If I could, yes I would

If I could, I would

Let it go

Surrender

Dislocate

If I could throw this

Lifeless lifeline to the wind

Leave this heart of clay

See you walk, walk away

Into the night

And through the rain

Into the half-light

And through the flame

If I could through myself

Set your spirit free

I’d lead your heart away

See you break, break away

Into the light

And to the day

To let it go

And so to fade away

To let it go

And so fade away

I’m wide awake

I’m wide awake

Wide awake

I’m not sleeping

Oh, no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they’d

Tell you what I would say

True colors fly in blue and black

Bruised silken sky and burning flag

Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would

If I could, I would

Let it go…

This desperation

Dislocation

Separation

Condemnation

Revelation

In temptation

Isolation

Desolation

Let it go

And so fade away

To let it go

And so fade away

To let it go

And so to fade away

I’m wide awake

I’m wide awake

Wide awake

I’m not sleeping

Oh, no, no, no

U2, “Bad”

 
|| January 23, 2001 || 10:54 pm || Comments (0) ||

First, just allow me to say “wow“. Okay, that having been said, I can move on.

I got something in my e-mail a few days(?) back that I thought was just another forward and clicked on past. Luckily I did not delete it, for in my boredom tonight I found it to be a pretty cool thing and I hope lots of my peeps will find it in their hearts to respond. I am including it here, along with my answers, for all the world to see. If you take a shine to the idea, then I would LOVE it if you sent it to me when you filled it out and started sending it along. We all clear?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Copy (not forward) this entire email, and paste it
onto a new email that you will send. Change
all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send
this to all your friends INCLUDING the
person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will
learn a lot of little facts about your
friends. Remember to send yours back to the person who
sent it to you.

LIVING ARRANGEMENT? I don’t yell, and those who share my abode don’t yell back.

WHAT IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU IN THE LAST 60 DAYS? Eegads, I hate to sound all Rebecca-of-Sunnybrookish, but I can’t really narrow it down….there’s been a handful of things.

YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW(s)? Twilight Zone, The Young Ones (when they actually AIR it on BBC) and any of those hoaky People’s Court-type shows.

WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Uncle Sam: I WANT YOU!

FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Most assuredly Scrabble. I get all kamikaze on people and shit. I even have the Official Scrabble Players’ Dictionary.

FAVORITE SMELLS? Anything almond scented. Palmer’s Cocoa Butter. Bounce fabric softener. Burt’s Bees baby products. Mulberry. Trapp’s Candle Company’s Mediterranean Fig candle. Ysatis by Givenchy (my signature scent).

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Jonesing. The crash.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Feeling dainty and cared for by my beloved.

ROLLER COASTER: SCARY OR EXCITING? EXXXXciting, man!

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Three to four.

FAVORITE REFRESHING DRINK? Need you ask? MOUNTAIN DEW—liquid crack for Generation X! I like ice water an unholy amount, as well.

WEIRD FUN YOU ENJOY? Making lists of words that I think are hella cool. Like ‘defenestration’ or ‘loquaciousness’ or ‘yegg’.

FAVOURITE COLOURS? Ivory rocks, dude. I also like orange. And blue so deep that it is just about indistinguishable from black. Pale yellow’s good, too.

FAVORITE CANDY? Hmmm, don’t eat much candy, but I like Almond Roca. Almond Joys send me over the edge as well.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? GAHHHH, do I! I know how to scream “ROAD TRIP!!” in seven-and-a-half languages.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Uh, NO. Pfft.

STORMS – COOL OR SCARY? Rarely scary, but I love ‘em even then.

WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR AND HOW MUCH? A maroon Dodge Aries ‘K’-Car. I was horribly embarrassed, moreso because it had bench seats, but in retrospect I realize what a good little piece of tin that it actually was. And oh yeah, $1000.00.

BOOK YOU’RE CURRENTLY READING? SURE…make me feel like a boob! I read voraciously, but am not ensconced in anything at present.

IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON WHO WOULD IT BE? Alive? Formerly alive? Clarify, please.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Hmmmm….like 1800 tequila, straight up. Like Rolling Rock beer for personal reasons.

WHAT”S YOUR SIGN? “CAUTION, BRIDGE MAY ICE OVER IN COLD WEATHER.” Only kidding. I am waaaaay aries, buddy.

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Depends on how they are prepared.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I kind of wish now that at some point I had joined the Peace Corps, just to check it out.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Blue-eyed blondes are a dime a dozen, so I have experimented in the whole color arena. The one color that I would really like to have but don’t carry off well is JET BLACK.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Oh hell yeah.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Depends on what day you’re asking.

FAVORITE MOVIE(s)? SFW, Drugstore Cowboy, The Outsiders, Lawn Dogs

FAVORITE SONG(s)? “Goodnight Elizabeth” (counting crows), “Blue Guitar” (cowboy junkies), “Hard Luck Woman” (kiss), “One Time Too Many” (pj harvey), “Joey” (concrete blonde), “Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You” (stevie nicks), “Bad” (u2), “Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall” (bob dylan), “Zero” (smashing pumpkins), “Hurt” (nine inch nails), “Into the Void” (the dead next door), “Last Beat Of My Heart” (siouxsie and the banshees), “Fascination Street” (the cure), “Twilight Zone” (golden earring), “Stuck In the Middle With You” (stealer’s wheel), “All Right Now” (free), “Jukebox Hero” (foreigner), “Gun Love” (zz top), “Come On In My Kitchen” (robert johnson), and on and on and on and on, hey-hey.

ARE YOU A LEFTY OR A RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Righty.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Generally.

WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? Coupla photo albums, assorted weaponry, stray legos and eyeliners (however, none are inter-related).

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? – Hockey or Basketball.

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: I can stand to hear her speak, which is more than I can say for the bulk of the population.

PERSON WHO YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Don’t get me to lyin’.

PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ditto.

If I didn’t e-mail you this (D’OH! Suzanne! Seher! Dee! and whomever else) then please respond anyhoo. I am megaultralottimus curiouso!

Okay, bye now!

pee ess…all mad props to Angela for sending this along.

 
|| January 23, 2001 || 5:01 pm || Comments (0) ||

“Maybe I’m the best of a bad bunch in an age of mediocrity.” –Nick Cave

If his fingernails weren’t so fucking dirty, I think that I could love him.

 
|| January 22, 2001 || 5:30 pm || Comments (0) ||

Do a little dance, make a little love, but don’t respond. Look straight afuckinghead and DON’T respond. Not even when you get the all clear, because some things should be just left as they were found.

Some things should be allowed to melt down. Pure states and all that shit. Do I believe in the phoenix? I dunno. Depends on what day I am asked.

 
|| January 20, 2001 || 2:03 am || Comments (0) ||

SHHHH….nobody say my name really loud or so much as nod in my direction, please. I am taking a well-earned respite from the prepubescent masses gathered presently in my family room.

Eldest boy-child is celebrating his near-brush with double digits. Many little accomplices (accomplii?? Whaa….?) joined him this evening. So far I have whipped up three ultramegadyn0mite pan-bending pizzas (of various topping combos), a batch-and-a-half of lovingly prepared chocolate chip cookies and two big ole bowls of popcorn. We will not even get into the whole soda issue except to say that my own child is in hog heaven as he is normally on stringent soda restriction.

Anyway, it’s barely 1 a.m., so I have a huge bag of M&Ms as back up in case of total Donna Reed meltdown (which, I feel, is quickly approaching….I am a ROCK STAR, for Chrissakes!). And the pepto is on standby. KAPOW! Don’t mess with the best, buddy.

At this point, many video and board games have been played and we are into movie number three. The games will return soon, I fear, for I am famous in this neck of the woods for the level of coolness that accompanies the prizes and party favors that I give away. Right on.

I think I shall deflect any more gaming at this juncture. I’m gonna go spike my hair, put on lots of black eyeliner, don some vampy red lipstick and slip into my “Charlie Don’t Surf” t-shirt. Then we will break out copious amounts of candles and lay to it with the ghost stories. Wanna come along???

 
|| January 20, 2001 || 1:09 am || Comments (0) ||

cooooool.

Friend of yourn, Suzanne?

 
|| January 18, 2001 || 5:43 pm || Comments (0) ||

BANG! I love when someone has an epiphany. Or a random thought. Or something.

You’re right, chum, go back to the whole writing for three people thing. [that anything like eating for three people, pal?]

[oh, that's TWO people....brain cramp....lame joke....sorry]

Anyhow, your writing that way utterly charmed me and has kept me hooked like crazy (punch me in, clocker!).

Recall that whole “Doing this thing for me” motto? Keep on keepin’ on, mang, and ye shall survive.