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Jett Superior laid this on you on || July 29, 2001 || 11:43 am

9 things about me that are true and one that just ain’t:

// When I was about 12, I caught my 9-year-old sister selling peeks of me sleeping in my bra and panties to the neighborhood boys for a quarter. ~TRUE~ I was during summer break and I awoke to find three faces in my window. Cherie already had about three bucks in change.

// I was once offered a test shoot for a ‘prestigious’ men’s magazine. ~TRUE~ I was living in Alaska at the time. I was 19 and working three jobs to dig myself out of a hole that someone else put me into without my knowledge. One of the jobs entailed me waiting tables for wealthy gentlmen while wearing a tuxedo shirt, bow tie, cumberbund, black mini and heels. I pondered it hard, I really did. Eventually I turned it down.

// I once hung out with Pauly Shore and did vodka shots with him. ~TRUE~ It was when he was doing the big tour thing with MTV in the the way early ’90s. My PR agency was handling his press and I showed him around town before he was slated to tape at Chilkoot Charlie’s. His sister was a real douchebag asshole and my friend Kathy ended up clocking her.

// I was a U.S. Marine. OORAH. ~TRUE~ But they screwed my contract up and had to turn me loose….

// I had the chicken pox no less than THREE times as a child. ~TRUE~ The doc said that I just didn’t get them well enough the first two times. The third time I had them everywhere, even on my eyeballs. Ick.

// I dipped Skoal one time to win $40.00 ~TRUE~ Sometimes guys are immensely stupid. They will shell out perfectly good money whether they can afford it or not to be entertained in any ole inane way.

// I Q-tip my ears religiously after every shower and I floss every single day. ~FALSE~ While I DO Q-tip like a maniac, I only floss a couple times a week. I used to do it every day….

// I have written a check for one million dollars twice in my life. ~TRUE~ Once was when I was about four years old. I rummaged out my ma’s checkbook and then carried the check around in my little purse for a couple of weeks before losing it. A very nice lady returned it to mom, who gave me a sound thrashing. The second time was when I was living in Hawaii, working for an escrow company. That timeshare bidness sho’ is a racket!

// I was nearly strangled while rappelling a few years ago. ~TRUE~ The elastic loop on the hood of my gore-tex jacket got caught on some scrub as I swung out and I got turned around and kind of left hanging. If Biff hadn’t shinnied down so fast with knife in hand, I would be wormfood now. I still have the jacket. It’s been a good friend, despite the attempt on my life.

// My great-grandfather died on the day I was born. ~TRUE~ About an hour after I came along and about ten minutes after my father told him.

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