A Random Image
 

Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 24, 2001 || 8:33 pm

Hey, you know what? I hate it here. On planet Earth, I mean.

Also, were I full-blooded Native American, I believe that my name would be “Runs With Scissors”.

Some days it’s so hard to stay sane. Or was I ever sane in the first place? I have been drug-free for quite some time now, but sometimes I wonder why I bother. I mean, there are these days when it seems that the whole purpose of my existence is to see how fast somebody can rocket me off to the nutfarm to compete in the drool races with all the other people that were convinced they were sane all along.

Back to the whole wondering why I bother thing: if I DO end up on the nutfarm, they’re gonna medicate me anyway, so why don’t I just go ahead and self-medicate to make it all better and save a whole lot of effort and expense on the back end of things? ~gotta love this train of logic, don’t you?~

Have I mentioned lately that I hate you? And by the way, I hate your mother, too. I just thought you should know.

So, taking my lifestyle preferences into account, this quiz says that the following substances would be my best bet (drat! gunpowder wasn’t listed):
# 1 Dexedrine (dexies)

# 2 Hash

# 3 Marijuana

# 4 Codeine

# 5 Opium

# 6 Ritalin

# 7 Methamphetamine (Crystal)

# 8 PCP

# 9 Psylocibic mushrooms (magic mushrooms)

# 10 Cocaine

# 11 Crack

# 12 Ketamine

# 13 LSD (acid)

# 14 2CB (a form of ecstasy)

# 15 Absinthe

# 16 DMT

# 17 Heroin

# 18 Inhalants (gas, paint ect.) why don’t you just kill yourself now?

# 19 Mescaline

# 20 Morphine

# 21 Peyote

# 22 Barbituates (sleeping pills)

# 23 DXM

# 24 GHB

# 25 MDMA/MDA (ecstasy)

I think that coke (my former favorite happy monkey) ranked so low because I ticked the box for ‘No’ when asked if I were interested in a lifestyle drug. Hard to manage a lifestyle drug when I am busy cooking for five, doing enough thinking for ten and being looked down upon by the linen sack-dressed fellow elementary school moms. You know the bitches I’m talking about: they have stiff hair and clay jewelry painted to look like safari animals and they have screechy, nasally, saccharine voices. I want to tie them all together and lock them in a room and see who turns cannibal first. *snicker* I know, I’m a sicko, but Good LORD, what a funny image dances through my brain! The last one standing would be wearing ALL the linen sack-dresses, ALL the clay jewelry and would have the tibia of the most petite kill stabbed through her non-moving, heavily-highlighted coif. She would be babbling unintelligibly in some ancient language that she discovered buried deep within her psyche. It ain’t about the content, baby, it’s all about the programming. *pardon me as I fall off my chair whilst hooting with laughter*

See? That’s all it takes. A little dark, perverted humor and I am lifted from the murky depths, carried along on peals of laughter.

I wrote this story one time about a young woman who invited a fellow over for a romantic meal. It was very sexy (but not in that erotic way, just….sexy. I dunno.) and the buildup was delicious. There were candles and good music and a charged atmosphere and she served him fine wine. After the first glass and as he was starting the second, she began to kiss the tips of his fingers. She began to flick her tongue across his fingers and he allowed her to, thinking he was transfixed. Just as she bit clean through one of his index fingers he realized that he was not transfixed, but paralyzed. The dirty bitch had drugged him, and he was incapable of movement or sound. She got to feed on him both physically and emotionally, completely enjoying the look of horror in his eyes.

I know, I know, a psychiatrist would have a field day with that one. But don’t look so fucking stunned. Shit like that happens on the X-Files all the time and nobody blinks.

I hope all your tomorrows are swell. Good night, fellow revellers.

Nobody worked it out »

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