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Jett Superior laid this on you on || January 23, 2002 || 3:52 pm

We are going on a cruise to the Bahamas the first part of March. I don’t want to go.

Go ahead and call me a snipey, unappreciate Dirty BitchTM. Share not your beer and sausages with me. I won’t care, and it won’t change the fact that I really don’t want to go.

See, Maxim did A Very Good Thing. He won employee of the month at his place of employment. This is no surprise to me, as I have worked with him before. He is a dilligent worker and amazing fun to spend a day alongside (and not just in a horizontal fashion, sewerbrain). Not fun in that “ohmychristiamlaughingsohardi’mgonnathrowup” way, but in that “what a really cool co-worker I am lucky enough to have” kinda way. He is one of the most earnest and genuine people I have ever known in my life, and he’s the sort of person that other people are quite fortunate to know. Most of the time people know and acknowledge this, which makes it no surprise that on the heels of employee of the month came employee of the quarter.

With employee of the quarter comes an all-expense paid trip and the time off to take it for two. At first Mexico was the word leaked onto the street. I was way jazzed about Mexico, because I have been obsessing about going there for the past six months so that I could buy all sorts of rad pottery and cheap-but-awesome blankets. My only foray into Mexico has been the Tijuana crawl and I don’t remember much of it (prolly lucky in that respect). Been salivating to go hop around some ruins and take some panoramic vista photos and smoke the GOOD mota and soak in the nearly-South-American air. You know what I’m saying.

Then word comes down the pike that we are getting on a big boat and sailing away into the arena of all things Caribbean and my smile turned upside down. Sheeyut. *This is where the sort-of-Ungrateful-Whore thing comes into play.* I’ve never had any semblance of a desire to go on a cruise. Never wanted to go to the Bahamas. You put the two things together and I am doubly nonplussed, see?

Add to that the fact that the HR Woman Who Speaks To People Like They Are All Kindergarteners went over budget and we have to actually pay for a part (an eensy part, but a part nonetheless) of the trip, and it is all the more unappealing.

I shall go, however, and I shall be happy about it, because we are travelling to somewhere that neither of us has ever been, the alcohol will flow like honey, the tropical air is (mostly) free, and we will be minus young ‘uns for 5 whole days. Oh, for JOY!!

I will suck it up and find an upside to being crammed on a boat with, of all things, people. I will do this because every year running for the last three years the slab of lovin’ known as my spouse and I have saved for and planned a trip to New Orleans, only to be shot down each year by a financial emergency that sucked up the fundage so meticulously set aside. I’m sure we’ll laugh like loons about it in thirty years, but each time it happens it’s not even remotely funny. We don’t want to go to New Orleans during Mardi Gras; I did that in my stellar capricious youth and found it wholly distasteful and unappealing. There’s only so much hooting, hollering, and reeling foolishly in the streets that a body can stand and I got most of that shit out of my system by the time I was fourteen, okay? We planned on going in the late spring, starting our trip with a stay in the famous Haunted Hostel and ending it with a night or two in one of New Orleans’ palatial private homes. We wanted to pass our time exploring the old, ornate cemeteries, the wonderful cathedrals and even taking the vampire walk. Breakfast on beignets, shop for local artistry, take in lots of loud, bawdy music and spicy food. Hell, maybe even hang out at the Celtic Festival. Spend late nights wallowing in atmosphere and lazy, long mornings wallowing in the bed…..

*sigh* I’m sure I will have a lovely time with all of the loud, sunburned, middle-aged persons that will be bobbing happily along atop the Caribbean with me.

Nobody worked it out »

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