A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || June 1, 2002 || 11:56 pm

I find myself tuned into those late-night “date shows” randomly during the week….

They start out as ‘background noise’, but I inevitably end up watching them (just what the fuck is wrong with me??).

I don’t know why I do it, because I ALWAYS (as in , “doggedly, without fail”) wind up asking one of two questions out loud:

“Whatthefuck are you talking about?”
“Do people really say shit like that??”

Still I watch, with all the same sort of fascination that would accompany my shearing off a thumb with an electric knife and them placing said digit into a votive cup, lighting the tip of it for use as a candle. Sort of, “Why am I doing this to myself?” and, “Wellllll, as long as I’m at this place, I might as well make something of it…..”

I found one of my most favorite quotes ever in an ‘indie’ paper a couple of years ago. Wes Wilson was reviewing a William Gibson book and he led off with this:
I don’t mind being fooled by a clever trickster. Some asshole brainiac could hog tie me with barbed wire and sodomize me with a branding iron, but I’d still cackle out loud if he did it in a creative way.


Dating -the whole process of it- is icky and painful. I’ve always hated dating, whether I was 16 and fresh out of the gate or ‘grown up’, one bad marriage behind me. The concept of dating is all fucked up. Why you’d want to capture that shit on film is beeeYOND me.

I’m all about the non-date:
Hey, there’s this awesome motocross place off in the hills there. You wanna check it out this Saturday?
That band I was telling you about, The Vomitous Corpses? They’re playing Sloss Furnaces this Thursday….meet me there?
A few of us are going to free day at the zoo tomorrow, where we will eat liquor-laced snocones and heckle those damned rhinocerii. You coming along?
I hear the hobos are hosting a potluck down at the railyard. We should ride over there together.

You know??

That’s how a date should be. You shouldn’t even know the date is there. You shouldn’t even know that you’re about to embark upon a date.

My courtship with Maxim was so laid-back that I wasn’t even aware of it when we were out on our ‘first date’. He had to point it out to me later (waxing squishy, he leads off with, “That night at Antonelli’s….”). What *I* so mistakenly marked as our first date -the trip to the dollar movies to see Great Expectations (proof that you should never surmise a movie’s worth based on an excellent soundtrack)- was actually our fourth or fifth. That’s cool beyond measure.

The first time Maxim ever cradled my head to his chest, I felt like I was home. That was in contrast to the other guys that had held me in the same manner — it always had the sensation of a prelude to something, the ‘where’s-this-headed’ gut-check.

A date doesn’t have to be heartbreakingly perfect or perfectly heartbreaking. It shouldn’t be seriously reserved or reservedly serious. It shouldn’t be posturing or shallow or deceptive. Hell, there’s enough of that in everyday life, and a date is an escape. It’s a remarkable opportunity to get to know someone in a world where ‘knowing thy brethren’ is no longer encouraged as the norm. Most of the time I’m okay with this concept, but occasionally I shuck the mantle of “Patently Misanthropic” and feel otherwise.

I don’t know what the eff I’m saying here, and maybe neither do you. Okay, perhaps it’s this:

SINGLE PERSON!! YEAH, YOU OVER THERE. Go out with someone of the ‘I’d-like-to-get-to-know-him/her-better’ variety, do something low-key and fun. Before you know it, you may be doing something low-key and fun like spending the days and nights with your PrincessCoolChick/PrinceRighteousDude making fun of those silly formal-dating fussbudgets that are still running frustrated on the hamster wheel while you and your spouse figured it out long ago.

2 worked it out »

  1. The Dane 6.2.2002

    I’ve tried about four times to get through All Tomorrow’s Parties but inevitably get sidetracked about 30 – 40 pages in. One day I vow to finish it because I simply loved Neuromancer.

  2. Johnny T 6.6.2002

    The only date show I like is Blind Date. They don’t just show it, they interpret it. THat is the key for me.


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