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Jett Superior laid this on you on || June 26, 2002 || 11:09 pm

PIty me, my darlings. Cry big shoulder-wracking crocodile tears for your precious Jett Grrrl.

Tonight I was supposed to have been at the Indigo Girls / Norah Jones show at the Alabama Theater.

Last night a head cold began to overtake me. When I awoke this morning, head cold was successful, and it was replete with wooziness and swollen face from all the sinus pressure. Allow me to inform you that I NEVER get sick. NEVER. When I do finally fall prey to illness, it kicks my ass in a complete and astonishing way.

Maxim, sweet meat that he is, took off of work to pamper me today. Normally I am the kind of person that wants to be left alone in a quiet room with no fuss and no bother when I am sick. Poke your head in occasionally to inquire as to whether I want some water or Tylenol, but otherwise leave me the fuck alone in the quiet and dark.

Every now and again I like to be ‘made over’ (Southern colloquialism for ‘fussed over’) and today was one of those days. I said nothing of this and I wasn’t demanding in the least. Maxim just knew. He always ‘just knows’, because he is my fucking hero, Prince RighteousDude.

He went and procured all manner of shameful indulgences that are my weaknesses, like Mountain Dew and People magazine and barbeque chips. He bought me a cold pack for my eyes and some sort of sinus medicine that made me wonky and a brand-new oscillating fan of my very own in a pretty minty green color. He lay in bed next to me, both of us clad only in boxer shorts, and ran the flat of his hand along my bare skin until I was soothed off to sleep –he’s the Magic Man, baby. When I woke he made me gyros and brought them to me in bed. He catered to and pampered me partially in the hopes that I might be able to attend the concert tonight with him and his mother (I have the coolest mother-in-law on the ever-loving planet, y’all). He did it partially for the fact that he seems to like me and value me for some reason unbeknownst to me.

When I can breathe through my nose again, that boy is gonna be on the receiving end of some fiiiiine oral sex, folks.

By four pee emm I knew I was not destined to make it. I urged Maxim to round up a third body to take to Birmingham with them. I knew that if I forced myself to go I would just feel that much more awful tomorrow and I’d prolly be a drag on the evening. They left at five and I popped in the Lantana DVD Maxim rented for me. I seem to be watching a lot of Lion’s Gate films as of late.

After the movie was over I booted up the ole machine and of course, after only 25 minutes on-line I got a fatal exception whositswhatsits called from somethingorother VxD. Holy mother of fuck, you people know that I am a massive techotard and all I can do it wail in gut-wrenching agony and dumbly try some kindergarten fixes. Well, the machine is on such a craptastic bent lately that nothing within the scope of my –or the system troubleshooter’s, for that matter– knowledge can cure it. In my boredom and frustration I turned my eye to the computer that dad gave me for the kids a couple months back.

My dad’s a hoot….when he has a problem with a system that takes him more than 15 minutes and two calls to my brother (who is largely out-of-pocket due to military obligations) or me to fix, he says, “AHHHH, ta hell with this” and heads for an electronics department near you to buy a complete new setup, printer, scanner and all. The leavings from the old machines are passed on to whatever kid’s available to get them out of his way and quick.

So this machine, my friend Candi (yeah, I really have a pal named Candi, for Jeez Pete) has been over no less than three times to get it up and running for my chirrens with no luck whatsoever. I am bound and determined for once to finish a post without being crapped on, so I crawl all over hell and half of Georgia (read: the floor behind the desk) hooking this and that to other things and then I boot up to see what I can do to get the OS installed but good.

And can you believe that I actually DID IT, by my little lonesome? Just ME. I still don’t know exactly what I did right, but I am all-fire excited, nonetheless. Everything bears out the appearance of working normally, as well. Wheeeee!

Nobody worked it out »

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