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Archive for July, 2002

|| July 31, 2002 || 11:26 pm || Comments (5) ||

The problem with Lofthouse Cookies is that they are evile. EEEE-VILE. This is because once you consume them, they chew their way through your soul and head south to hang around your thigh region.

Except, of course, for the sugar cookie…

…it is perhaps the most vicious breed of Lofthouse Cookie to be found. It doesn’t even make a show of playing with your soul; it heads straight on down and settles into the thighs. Bastard!

Be mindful…they travel both in packs and individually, and will creep right on into your shopping cart between the baked tortilla chips and the tofu (I caught one dressed for St. Patty’s Day camouflaging itself with cilantro one time…).

BE WARY! BE ULTRAMEGACAREFUL! They have already brainwashed many of the masses, and word has it that they are spawning at an ungodly rate.

I see that they are made in Utah. That explains much.

|| July 31, 2002 || 2:13 pm || Comments (6) ||

w00t! Playing over at Anagram Genius (thanks, Kat…) yields up the following anagrams for the title of my blog, [All blogged up and nowhere to go.]:

Good God! well hung, notable rape.

Good! well hung or dateable pong.

Now deplored on huggable gloat.

Good God! new, globular elephant.

Good God! rape not well hung able.

Good! elaborated well hung pong.

Well! Oh! Good God! repugnant able.

Well! Oh God! Good! repugnant able.

Now deplored not huggable goal.

Good God! well-run, able pathogen.

Wrangled onto huggable poodle.

Good God! well-run alphabet gone.

Well! Good God! huge, prenatal nob.

Well! Good God! bet huge anal-porn.

Good God! ape well hung, noble rat.

Good God! reap well hung notable.

Wrangled to huggable poodle on.

Hell! Good God! a repugnant bowel.

Good! hog well-run, dateable pong.

Wrangled not dope huggable loo.

Good God! not well hung, abler ape.

Good! Good! well hung, able parent.

Good God! hate well-run, able pong.

No! wrangled to huggable poodle.

Onto well hung, garbaged poodle.

Well hung portable and good ego.

Good God! well hung able pro neat.

Wooden huggable, golden patrol.

Deplored now gloat huggable no.

Good God! now huge, prenatal bell.

Well! Good! not huggable operand.

Wrangled huggable dope to loon.

Good God! a well hung, nobler tape.

Good! to well hung, readable pong.

Good! paged or well hung notable.

Good God! a well-run elephant bog.

To well hung, garbaged poodle on.

Good God! well hung, open, able rat.

Good! God! well hung, notable rape.

Good God! whole, repugnant label.

Deplored on own huggable gloat.

To well adored on huggable pong.

Well! Ho! Good God! repugnant able.

Not deplored on a huggable glow.

Good God! an abler, well hung poet.

Good God! panel well hung boater.

Good God! well hung, plane boater.

Good God! panel or well hung beat.

Good God! well hung or plane beat.

Dope not well hung, garbaged loo.

Well hung dope to garbaged loon.

Good! dear pong to well hung able.

Wanted, huggable, prolonged loo.

Good God! well hung or beaten pal.

Good God! well hung, able, torn ape.

Good! dope abort well hung angel.

Good! on well hung, datable grope.

Good! groped a well hung notable.

Good God! ape both well-run angel.

Good God! gap on the well-run able.

Good God! abhor well gentle an up.

Good God! below a repugnant hell.

Well hung poodle to garbaged no.

Good! rape well hung, notable dog.

Now deplored to a huggable long.

Well! Ugh! Good God! prenatal bone.

Good God! on well hung, abler tape.

Good God! well hung rape on table.

Now rat huggable, golden poodle.

Good! now deplorable thug angel.

Wanted poodle or huggable long.

Good God! well hung taper on able.

Good God! an able or well hung pet.

Good God! well hung pal on beater.

Doped well hung garbage to loon.

Good God! reap not well hung able.

Deplored now nag huggable tool.

Hello! Good! now bugged prenatal.

Good God! the new, globular panel.

Good God! the new, globular plane.

Wrangled huggable dope on tool.

Good! belowground, gentle alpha.

Good God! well hung, polar, beaten.

Not do well hung poodle garbage.

Good! Good! plan well hung beater.

Good! dope not well hung algebra.

Good God! per a well hung notable.

Pong now gloat bullheaded ogre.

Now deplored to huggable, along.

Deplored huggable won on gloat.

Deplored now tag huggable loon.

Good God! heat well-run, able pong.

Wanted, huggable or golden loop.

Wanted, huggable or golden pool.

Huggable gonad or not dope well.

Well adored onto huggable pong.

Low not huggable, deranged loop.

Low not huggable, deranged pool.

Good God! a well hung plebe on rat.

Now glared not huggable poodle.

Now gold-plated or huggable one.

O Hell! Good! now bugged prenatal.

Hello! now ponged garbaged lout.

Now nagged to deplorable ghoul.

Hello! Good God! new, prenatal bug.

Help! Good God! new, globular neat.

Good! Well! not raped on huggable.

Good God! an elephant or well bug.

Hello! Good! wage repugnant bold.

Good! ago well hung, nobler adept.

Good! adapt well hung, noble ogre.

Good! Good! well hung, prenatal be.

Deplored on well hung, ga-ga boot.

Doped not well hung garbage loo.

Good! bold neat or well hung page.

Good! well hung, datable porn ego.

To now deplored on huggable lag.

Good! Well! on nor huggable adept.

Well! huggable dodo or neat pong.

Well! Good God! abhor neat plunge.

Good! halo well gangrened to pub.

Well! Good God! rape notable hung.

Wrangle not do huggable poodle.

Good! huge, noble, gallant powder.

Good God! a well hung planet bore.

Good God! a well hung, noble taper.

Well hung dope on garbaged tool.

Good! well hung able and to grope.

Good God! to well hung, banal peer.

O Hell! now ponged garbaged lout.

O Hell! Good God! new, prenatal bug.

Good God! hate well-run, noble gap.

Good! well rant on huggable dope.

Well pentagon or huggable dodo.

Well! Oh No! Good! prenatal bugged.

Well! Oh! Good God! prenatal begun.

Good! huggable leper and not low.

Huggable angel or not doped low.

Low paged to huggable Londoner.

O Hell! Good! wage repugnant bold.

Good! bowl huge, golden prenatal.

Good God! nobler wealth up angel.

Good God! been a well hung patrol.

Good God! eat well hung, able porn.

Good God! banal, gentle howler up.

Now plot huggable, deranged loo.

Hog now nagged deplorable lout.

Hello! Good God! new, abrupt angel.

Well! on huggable dope to dragon.

Good! well neat on huggable drop.

Good! well raped not huggable no.

Well! Good God! halo repugnant be.

Good! pong well bled to harangue.

Well! Good God! the garble on an up.

Well! Oh God! Good! prenatal begun.

Deplored to nag on huggable low.

Low deplore not huggable gonad.

Pong low drooled huggable neat.

Wrangle not doped huggable loo.

Good! wrangle adept, noble ghoul.

Glow not huge, deplorable gonad.

Good! well hung adept along bore.

Good God! leapt or well hung bean.

Good God! petal or well hung bean.

Good God! plate or well hung bean.

Good! a well hung, prolonged beat.

Good! well hung, dateable porn go.

Good! well hung, notable pad ogre.

Opt now drooled huggable angel.

Pot now drooled huggable angel.

Own not deplored huggable goal.

Now don’t huggable, large poodle.

Now gloat huggable poodle nerd.

Garbled gentle now halo good up.

Good! new dog globular elephant.

Good! God! new, globular elephant.

Good! behead pong well-run gloat.

Good! to huggable, prone and well.

Well! Pardon! Good! huggable note.

Well! Pardon! Good! huggable tone.

Not dog well adorable, huge pong.

Well pong not adorable, huge god.

Well! not dope on garbaged ghoul.

Well! Good God! pong unable hater.

Oh No! well ponged garbaged lout.

Low drooled huggable pentagon.

Ugh! Good! wrangled notable pole.

Wrangled hot plague good noble.

Good God! enable or well hung pat.

Good God! enable or well hung tap.

Good! grab well hung, neat poodle.

Good God! well hung, operable ant.

Good! beat well hung, poor dangle.

Good! God! rape not well hung able.

Wooden longed huggable patrol.

Along deplored to huggable won.

Now dope not huggable, large old.

Doped now gloat huggable loner.

Good God! now parallel huge bent.

Now dog ought deplorable angel.

Items in bold represent those I was particularly fond of/amused by. There were many more, but I’m sure you are bored to tears now.

|| July 30, 2002 || 1:35 pm || Comments (1) ||

Dear Kai – from all at the Royal Bank of Scotland, we wish to thank you profusely for screwing up your finances, thus allowing us to charge you shitloads of money. Thanks to your generosity, this year’s office Christmas party should be a real belter.”

|| July 30, 2002 || 1:17 pm || Comments (0) ||

I know a neat concept when I see one….

|| July 30, 2002 || 1:05 pm || Comments (2) ||

I’m starting to get annoyed, now….

My soapbox is hurling itself at the closet door, pleading –nay, demanding– to be let out.

|| July 29, 2002 || 9:27 pm || Comments (0) ||

My son has pretty phat taste in music during the daytime hours. Every night on the way to Slumberville, though, he and Mathias listen to the Delilah show.

Their room is right next to the spot in the living room where the kids’ computer desk resides (where, der, I currently sit).

I am going to lose my mind, America. *bangs head on desk, HARD*

|| July 29, 2002 || 9:08 pm || Comments (3) ||

If I had one of those hipandbitchin’, swinging blogs with a titlebar/byline header thingy for each entry, this one would be named News ‘O The Creeptastic.

You see, my friend Pam needed a new dentist for her son Blake. There was some bad karma between him and the old family dentist, or something.

Of course I recommended my dentist, whom I just adore(d).

Pam set Blake’s appointment and they headed on over to the dentist’s office this morning, where the dentist proceeded to drop dead while they were in the waiting room.

You heard me. He. Dropped. DEAD. While my pals were in the waiting room, no less.

Look, people, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.