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Archive for July, 2002

|| July 28, 2002 || 1:20 am || Comments (0) ||

90 %

There’s a 90 % chance that I’ll survive the ‘thon.
Will you survive the Blogathon?

37.5 %

My weblog owns 37.5 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

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The Practical Guide To Southern Verbiage And Colloquialism For The Addled Ferner:

squallin’ like a mashed cat
whining; crying; yelling

“When JoEllen found out B.J. took Mollie ridin’ in his new truck, she went ta squallin’ like a mashed cat.”

|| July 28, 2002 || 12:49 am || Comments (1) ||

In the spirit of this whole affair, and since I am blogging on behalf of the Tourette Syndrome Association, I interviewed a Touretter….my son Cullyn.

Q: Hi, Cullyn.
A: Hi. *snort*
Q: How old are you?
A: Ten.
Q: What are your favorite things?
A: Drawing, listening to music, um….playing Gameboy.
Q: Tell me about your family.
A: My mom acts kind of crazy sometimes, but she’s fun and nice. My stepdad is crazy, too, but nice. Mathias likes to act stupid, but I love him. Scout likes to sing and work on the computer, like momma.
Q: What do you know about TS?
A: Practically nothing.
Q: What do you mean?
A: I just don’t really know anything about it. I know it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain.
Q: How do you feel about TS?
A: I don’t like it, everybody feels sorry for me and I don’t want them to do that. I want to be treated normal.
Q: Do you tell people that?
A: Yeah. I tell friends.
Q: Do you tell grownups?
A: No….
Q: Why not?
A: I don’t know. I don’t like to talk to grownups that much.
Q: Me either; don’t feel bad.
Q: How has TS affected you?
A: I can’t speak sometimes or do things I want to do. Sometimes it makes me not have fun.
Q: How is school? How do the kids act toward you?
A: I’ve got some friends. Some kids are mean to me, some aren’t.
Q: How do you feel about having a dad with it?
A: I don’t really care.
Q: What are your hopes for the future?
A: I want to be a football player and go to college.
Q: If you could tell everybody one thing about TS, what would it be?
A: I want to be treated normal like other people.
Q: Tell me a joke, Clowny McGoofus.
A: Me?? I don’t know any. WAIT….How do you make a hanky dance? Put a little boogie in it.

Please sponsor me.

|| July 28, 2002 || 12:28 am || Comments (1) ||

Maxim drove down to Alabrew to pick up some last-minute supplies for bottling the batches of honey brown and Irish red he’s got going. He’s a sticker whore like me and could not resist picking up this one:

::click image to enlarge::

He relays information via me that the proprietor is super-nice and just a damned fine fellow all the way around, so you should get all your brewstuffs from Alabrew.

They carry the Superior Stamp Of Endorsement. That is a hard-won and not-lightly-flung-about honor.

|| July 28, 2002 || 12:00 am || Comments (0) ||

You waaaaant a TACKY PACKtm.
You neeeeed a TACKY PACKtm.

You are under my TACKY PACKtm spell.
You feel strangely led to go submit (an e-mail) to me….

For hell’s bells, it’s FREE! Just sign up!

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The Practical Guide To Southern Verbiage And Colloquialism For The Addled Ferner:

the part of the body that sits atop the neck

“‘At boy ain’t got a licka sense inniz hayud.”

|| July 27, 2002 || 11:26 pm || Comments (1) ||

April Love: You know, Amazing Jett Grrrl, I would be seriously teed off if somebody I sponsored dropped out.

Jett: We are but mere mortals, April Love; we are not blogging machines.

April Love: You’re still here, is what I’m sayin’. I mean, why go sixteen hours and then give up??

Jett: I feel ya.

April Love: Christ, I love being part of your little Cyber-world.

Jett: I’t’s called Cyberia, April Love. C-Y-B-E-R-I-A.

In other news, April Love feels that if you are going to whine about how tired you are and how much your head/hand/heart hurts from all this effing blogging, you should at least be funny while you do it.

|| July 27, 2002 || 11:00 pm || Comments (0) ||

April Love did not like the pizza helper’s attitude.

“He was not very receptive to my friendly banter,” she said.

“He just very nearly got sassed.”

April Love is one of my favorite people, did I tell you that?

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The Practical Guide To Southern Verbiage And Colloquialism For The Addled Ferner:


“Ah don’t keer…everwhich way you thanks best is whot we’ll do.”

|| July 27, 2002 || 10:35 pm || Comments (0) ||

MOTHERFUCK….I just lost my first post of the day due to system failure, and I am PISSED, because it is the one where I was telling you fuckers that motherfucking APRIL LOVE is motherfucketyfucking HERE NOW.

We are saying things like ‘pigfucker’ and are about to go partake of some hot cheesey pizza goodness.

Then it’s ONNNNN, motherfuckers. It’s on.

pee ess…we are also having a John Hughes film festival. The Early Eighties John Hughes. Not that shit after the early eighties, laws no!

April Love says I have ‘computer face’. I am going to fuck her UP.