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Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 24, 2002 || 7:59 pm

Faye is a cocksucker to me.

No matter how nice, indifferent or quietly surly I’ve been with Faye, she has come back at me putrescently aloof, indignant and just plain mean. I’ve done nothing (I swear on my mother’s eyeballs) to merit this sort of treatment. Faye is just “one of those people”, and has chosen me as her unwitting target.

Little ole puckered-faced Faye knows not with whom she messeth.

After foolishly returning her surliness a couple times, I have come to a monumental decision. I am going to kill Faye with kindness.

I am going to do this because Faye WANTS me to hate her back, WANTS me to treat her with ugliness so that she will have an excuse for her own behavior.

Just the other day when I saw her, I beamed widely and greeted her by name with genuine goodwill. She gave me a look of contempt mixed with a dollop of suspicion.

As she engaged another party in conversation, shutting me out, half-turned from me (the usual), I just stood there and smiled as hard as I fucking well could into the back of her little (she’s five-two) neck as I went about my business.

I smiled and smiiiiiiled. And smiled some more. I smiled so much that I actually felt my already-fair mood slide up a notch or two. Before too very long I began noticing that Faye was grabbing furtive little glances at me, then looking away quickly.

“Ahh-HA, you codgy bitch…I gotcha!!” I thought to myself, and I was so pleased that the next time she snuck a look-see at me, I stretched my already-dopey grin even wider and gave Miss Faye a little nod. It was fucking great, I tell ya; I was in fine form!

She beat a hasty retreat in fairly short fashion. She prolly thinks I’m insane or retarded or a criminal combination of both, but I surely don’t fucking care, because she left, negating the need to deal with her unreasonable grumpy buttholeness further. YAY TEAM!

I am SO looking forward to seeing her again!

2 worked it out »

  1. waistdog 8.25.2002

    “Putrescently” am not be no ‘Bammy kind of word.

    Faye best be watchin’ her back.

    Smiling ALWAYS makes people nervous.

     
  2. tim451 8.26.2002

    If you ever have to change your weblog name, I think “Criminally Insane and Retarded” has probably not been used before. Unless I take it first. =)

     

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