A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 25, 2002 || 11:08 pm

There was this girl in second grade that used to wait until the other students got out of their chairs, then she would go over to the seat, kneel on the floor and put her face like two inches from the chair and take a big whiff. We had two Marlas in that class. She was one.

I don’t know why on EARTH she popped into my brain like that. And God only knows why I’m telling YOU people.

But there was the requisite paste-eater, whose name was Suzanne. She had pretty red hair and amazing green eyes and was nice. Marla was a jackass. Everybody gave Suzanne HELL for the paste-eating, but no one ever said anything to Marla (except for loudmouth me) for her extremely nasty and disconcerting habit.

People are fucked up, kids.

Moral of the story: Make sure you are lambasting the chair-sniffer before you grab the glue-eater by the scruff of the neck and shake.

6 worked it out »

  1. waistdog 8.26.2002

    I STILL eat paste.

    But I’d never do something odd like sniff a chair seat.

  2. clayton 8.26.2002

    what if you eat chair seats?

  3. Johnny T 8.26.2002

    As long as the ruffing-up is in order, everything will be fine.

    Chair-sniffing! HA! I love the faint smell of a dirty butt too. Where can I meet this Marla?

  4. West 8.26.2002

    Yeah, people are fucked up. Read the news lately? The main thing I see wrong with the planet is that people exist…

    As far as paste eating and chair sniffing, my older brother and sister eat dogfood and catfood regularly…does that count?


  5. Jett 8.26.2002

    waisty: somehow I imagine that’s true. all of it.

    claytone: that is a whole ‘nother category entirely, and it didn’t traumatize me as a child, so i dunno what to tell you. guinness book?

    johnaaaay: FIGURES that THIS particular entry would bring YOU back around again. you sick bastidge. LOL…stay awhile!

    westo: only if they are not dogs or cats. mebbe you could buy them groceries? take ‘em on a little run for the border (taco hell has those utterly SEXAAAAAY black sporks, now…)

  6. The Fancy Llama 8.27.2002

    I used to eat catfood. My little sister used to tell every girlfriend I had about that. Usually the first time that she met them. She likes to be the little sister and embarrass me with other stories. The cat food didn’t really bother me, but there were others…….. well, she’ll get hers. After all, big brother is just as fun as little sister. She’l only 11, so hehehe. Supposing that I am even around to MEET the boyfriends.

    Anyhow, I digress.

    I drank kerosene when I was little. No, not often. Just once, and that was enough for me. But I drank a fair amount of it. Mom walked in and I started pointing at my mouth saying “Hot. Hot.” Then my mom saw the empty can of kerosene. You can just imagine the amount of terror.

    Hey, someone do me a favor. Just make me feel special, and go to my site and comment on something. It doesn’t even have to be relevant. I just want to feel special.

    Maybe if I blog about something worth while…. nah.


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