Because I like pretty, dainty things. Because I get all squishy and sickening and sentimental where Christmas is concerned. Because I am such a fucking girl with regard to both of the aforementioned, I have signed up for this:

It appeals to the Christmas lover in me! It appeals to the Happy Sender O’ Packages (…by the way, go submit, time’s almost up for this month…) in me! And it doesn’t hurt things at all that I get a package bearing a Christmas ornament (one of my favorite things about Christmas) from a complete and total stranger. Woooo, sexy!

So, of course as I highly endorse both Christmas and sexy, I suggest you sign up right away!

Unless, of course, you are one of those silly curmudgeonly fucks who is all last-minute with regard to All Things Christmas. You can’t do that with this eedle project, because deadline for sign-ups is 31 October 2002. If you cain’t add, that’s less than a week away. And nearly two whole months before Christmas. I mean, I wouldn’t want you to get things licked early this year. Why break your marvelous, tried-and-true tradition?

Hee.

One of my pet peeves is when people say ‘yingyang’.

I shouldn’t be so picky, as normally these people can’t even speak in their own mother tongue. But, hell…

YIN. YANG.

JettSuperior: I want to have a midlife
crisis and buy a sportscar and feel up 22
year olds.

JettSuperior: Is that so wrong?

rleonard1971: um..no..I just wanna be 22 again

rleonard1971: snook snook

Three year old Mathias comes shooting through the house exclaiming excitedly, a piece of paper in hand.

MATHIAS: Mommy, wook, WOOK! I draw a meeeeean DOODOO!
>Jett is more than confused.<
JETT: What, son?
>Mathias is matter-of-fact.<
MATHIAS: I draw a mean doodoo.
>Jett grows concerned now; images of her son requiring intense therapy prior to age four are frightening and disheartening. It usually takes longer to screw them up royally.<
JETT: Waitaminute…what?
JETT: Show me.
>Mathias whips out a page of ruled notebook paper.<
MATHIAS: See?? I draw a mean doodoo.

unxmaal: sup yo

JettSuperior: memory-laning it.

unxmaal: yea?

unxmaal: howso?

JettSuperior: If I decided to do a ‘best
of’, which posts spring to your mind?

unxmaal: uh

unxmaal: i can’t remember what i had for lunch

unxmaal: much less stuff from uh like last week

JettSuperior: dweeb.

unxmaal: besides, doing ‘best ofs’ is a sure sign of the
death of a band

unxmaal: and a blog

JettSuperior: really?

JettSuperior: okay then.

unxmaal: yea

unxmaal: think about it

unxmaal: that, and those goddamn internet quiz things

JettSuperior: I was gonna slap up a few
links, but if i’d be jinxing then FUCK
NO!

JettSuperior: (and I do the quizlets ‘cos
they’re fun to me: call me juvenile…)

unxmaal: i could really give two squirts of rat feces
LESS about ‘what kind of water bong’ someone is.

JettSuperior: what about what kind of doc
marten they are?

JettSuperior: or party of five character?

unxmaal: i wanna come up with the ‘what kind of
puerile bullshit-filled garbage quizlet can some numb
fuck on the internet think up today?’ quiz.

JettSuperior: I think somebody already did
that.

unxmaal: and no matter what you score, the answer is
‘you are a shitstain cockwaste’

unxmaal: tonight, i fuckin heart profanity.

JettSuperior: FUCK YEAH, COCKNOBBER!

There is now apparently evidence that the sniper may have begun his attacks here in Alabama, as well as having spent time in a local militia training camp.

WOO! More great press for this already highly-thought-of state!

OOPS. I suck. I have NO IDEA what I did.

I repeat: NO IDEA. But I have sent for the cavalry, who should arrive any time now, so you guys feel free to go back to talking about leaky anuses.

Or you could apply for the TACKY PACK^tm drawing by telling me about your superstitions.