A Random Image
 

Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 9, 2002 || 10:18 am

I have a confession to make. I have one of those Christmas sweaters….one of the gaudy ones. And, it’s a cardigan.

Take a minute to catch your breath. Mock if you must. But, in my own defense, the thing was just too cool to pass up when I saw it last year. It’s black and festooned with green satin holly leaves (my favorite bit of symbolic holiday flora) and big ole opalescent red beads for berries.

The best part, though, is the two large nutcrackers pieced of satin and embroidered onto each side. They look like all sanity has left them (crazycrackers, heh.), with standard nutcracker grimaces and shocky tufts of white hair.

Their faces hover just around breast level, giving air that they are standing sentry over my nipples or, on a really cold day, experiencing some sort of textile acne.

“HALT! WHO GOES THERE?? Got any Clearasil?”

10 worked it out »

  1. Sean M. 12.9.2002

    Eeep, remeniscent of those sweaters that my gradeschool teachers used to wear… wow, didn’t think you’d be into seasonal clothing, had you figured wrong…

     
  2. trish 12.9.2002

    do you have a little christmas turtleneck with print on the collar to match? heh heh

     
  3. G. Oldielocks 12.9.2002

    Eeeep! But I have one for Halloween. Perhaps we could share some year!

     
  4. Jett 12.9.2002

    SEAN! One tacky sweater does not a seasonal dresser make. Will it redeem me in thine eyes to tell you that I wear it with great aplomb and plaid Doc Martens?

    PIE QUEEN! No waaaaaay….what do you take me for, anyway? I wear a dead kennedys tee-shirt under it.

     
  5. ChristoCarto 12.9.2002

    I have decided to out-do your festive sweater with one that I shall make myself with a true trailor-park gray sweatshirt (sleeves removed), puffy paint, working Christmas tree lights and a traditional glass ball ornament hanging from each erect nipple. And when people ask me what the fuck I was thinking, I shall let them know that it was JETT that gave me the inspiration.

    you FUCKING GODDESS.

     
  6. The Llama 12.9.2002

    ChristoCarto… I’ll have you know that my ass is now off, due to my excessive laughter from your wonderful plan.

    The others in the library are giving me looks now. Hmm.

     
  7. waistdog 12.9.2002

    I want, no, I demand! Pictures!

     
  8. April Love 12.9.2002

    Jett my love! You rock my little suburb. How funny is our little ChristoCarto?? Much Love!

     
  9. melly 12.9.2002

    I have a puppy & candy cane, flannel nightgown.

    I save it for third dates.

     
  10. Jessica Petrovich 12.10.2002

    Wow, my Mom wears those… But it’s ok, Jett is the coolest chick in the world…. I worship the cool chick.

     

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