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Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 11, 2002 || 11:05 am

I’m going to have an apostrophe tattooed on my shoulder, I think. Shoulder blade.

That is all.

OH! Before I forget, I should tell you about the other day. I went into the bowling alley to pay the deposit on Mathias’ BIG BIRTHDAY BOWLING PARTY (nothing like the noxious fumes of redneck sweat and four-pack-a-day smokers to ring in your fourth birthday). I mean, what could be better than a pack of sugared-up four-year-olds flinging cannon ball-like projectiles that are one-fifth of their bodies’ weight for a couple hours?

It was mostly empty, since it was only two in the afternoon; there were only five people bowling: two middle-aged wimmins and three little ones of about five, three and two. The lady behind the counter (byyyyooooooteeeful hot pink lipstick, darling! I used to wear that exact shade in sixth grade!) was finishing up my receipt when there came a great clatter of pins facilitated by the five-year-old. He turned slowly toward the wimmins, who were seated and talking about whoknowswhat, jaw slightly unhinged, and then started jumping around and pointing.

“SAHHHHWEEEEET MOTHER OF GAAAAAHHHHHD!” he shouted, “DID YOU SEE THAT??”

Hot Pink Lipstick Lady and I could not contain ourselves; we fell over the counter and into one another’s arms, cackling away. Some two minutes later, we collected ourselves, wiping our eyes, and agreed that we both needed that.

I don’t understand people that don’t like kids. I just don’t.

10 worked it out »

  1. Tom 12.11.2002

    I am enjoying your blogness very much… hope you contact me sometime… know who i am? did ya really ever in the first place? do you like the mexican blanket? is it stained with kid puke and what not? shall I stop typing.. me thinks so

     
  2. clayton 12.11.2002

    clay’TONE

    would look better as a tattoo.

    :)

     
  3. The Fancy Llama 12.11.2002

    I was just blogging yesterday about how kids are my idols. I love kids… I firmly believe that kids are the only reason adults stay sane. (Interestingly enough, maybe also the reason they GO insane…*wink*)

    But yeah, I look forward to having a few shorties of my own. But not for a while. Gosh no.

     
  4. brynne 12.11.2002

    ..but what if people mistake the apostrophe for a comma? I mean, with no other letters as a point of reference, they kinna look the same. I’m just sayin.

     
  5. April Love 12.11.2002

    I loved that story the first time that I heard it and I love it even more at this juncture. I feel compelled to comment on all of your glorious posts. You are aware of my feelings on children….I can enjoy offspring belonging to other humans, but I have no desire for one of my own. Now, if I could bid on one on Ebay I might be all over it…but as it stands, it would require a round in the sack and a committment of some kind, so I’m out. If I change my mind, can I borrow Mathias to jolt me back into reality?? I love your Mini-Jetts….They’re great. Much love and shit!

     
  6. Jett 12.12.2002

    Cush: ….of COURSE I know who YOU are….I’m just real, REAL shitty with e-mail. And kind of taken aback. You just dropped away and came back in much the same manner. Find me on AIM (nick: JettSuperior) and we’ll catch up.

    Clay: the only way I put your name on my body is if it’s in whipped cream. No, REALLY: the only way I put it there is if you return the favor: I’d like to see my name on your forehead in big RED letters. Dig it.

    Llama: You’re right. My children keep me from completely blowing off my grip on reality. After they move out I plan to become the lady that sings to birds, or something.

    Brynne: It would be a BIG, PREGNANT apostrophe. The kind with a big ole swollen head. Just like me. And others around here whom I will save the embarrassment by not mentioning their names.

    Love, baby: Are you drinking? You’re using a lotta five-dollar words tonight. And yes, come get my children. PLEASE COME GET THEM.

     
  7. Gil 12.12.2002

    I pesonally think a tat that says

    GIL RULZ

    with a heart and dagger is by far more approrpriate. Bwahahaha!

     
  8. April Love 12.12.2002

    I was indeed intoxicated. What can I say…I’m a classy Brawd.

     
  9. Johnny T 12.13.2002

    Apostrophe is a cool idea. How big we talking?

    Did you ever think of getting a tatto of a bruise? I always thought that would be rad.

    That or a tatto of a smilely face on my heel.

     
  10. Matt Rossi 12.14.2002

    I tend to view kids as humans, and as such, make my decision to like them on a case by case basis.

    Plus they freaking terrify me.

     

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