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Jett Superior laid this on you on || January 7, 2003 || 5:15 pm

Logged nearly a couple thousand miles on the trusty (knock wood, dammit, knock WOOD) little Saturncar in the two weeks I was not in the clutches of my blog and the Superior Muffinasses away. At first I set out for a specific place, but each day I awoke found me saying, “Hey, I’m only roughly three hours away from the city of ___________ and, whaddaya know, ___________ lives there and I should really grace them with my presence on their sofa,” and then throwing the ole travelin’ bag stuffed with cheap clothes, expensive shoes, lipstick (laaaaahts of lipstick) and paperback novels into my trunk. Open road!! OPEN ROOOOOOAD!

Felt, as I always do when returning to this godforfuckingsaken state, that “I’ve lost something along the way, and it AIN’T here in Hellabammy”.

Despair, brothers and sisters. Coming back here always brings a sense of despair with it. I was here a mere day, only beginning to make a dent in the laundry, when I received word that my aunt had died. My family is close. It was not exactly like losing a parent, but it was something akin to it.

Back on the road with me, listening to Matthew Ryan and Beth Hart the entire way, to go to the place that makes me feel the saddest, EVER, when I depart from it. Maybe the Delta is just marshy soybean fields and muddy river to others, but it holds magic for me. And family. I fucking miss my family immensely, and can’t help thinking feeling that I am missing so much when I am away. That my children are missing so much by never having lived there and interacting with oodles of cousins and passels of aunties and uncles.

The coming home back here was delayed as long as possible, resulting in a giddy, forced-march of a two ay emm drive, and my parents yelling that I make them nuts with my dangerous ways.

I, who hath travelled here and yon with no more than twenty bucks and a backpack, frightening them with a five-hour drive under cover of darkness? I bite back the temptation to yell, “I AM GROWN, DAMMIT!!!” because only people who aren’t grown shout that.

So, in a nutshell, my heart was tramped upon three times in the space of two weeks, lending to the temptation to rip the ole fucker out and throw the flaming shards into the abyss.

I am not a drama queen. Today I hate my life. In another two weeks I will be numb once again and embarrassed that I even told you any of this.

Repeat after me, Stepford Kids, “All is well. Things are peachy-keeeeeen.”

9 worked it out »

  1. tel 1.7.2003

    Loose slots! Loose slots! Loose slots!

     
  2. Jett 1.7.2003

    I demand to see the Fukin-A Illuminati!

    Some shit needs to be FIXED around here….

     
  3. April Love 1.7.2003

    Jett dearest! How very grand it is to have you back in our clutches! I love you girl and you are constantly in my thoughts, where you will find well wishes bearing a little tag that reads…To: My Dearest Jett, From: Your dearest April Love. Take care of yourself!

     
  4. brynne 1.7.2003

    Do you realize that the word “dearest” is mention thrice in the above comment?

    I thought that was againt the rules.

    ~muffinass.

     
  5. brynne 1.7.2003

    I mean “below” and “mentionED”.

     
  6. April Love 1.8.2003

    Dearest Brynne….Nothing, my dear, is against the rules where April Love is concerned.

     
  7. brynne 1.8.2003

    i stand corrected. ;)

     
  8. waistdog 1.9.2003

    Ah….just a little heartache, just a little hole……

    You can join Melly and I.

    We will become the three monkeys.

    Except, instead of hear no evil, see no evil, etc.

    We’ll just sit and flip everybody off.

    Welcome back.

     
  9. Jett 1.10.2003

    waisty: “….and nobottaaaay knows…” *sighs*

     

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