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Jett Superior laid this on you on || January 12, 2003 || 12:43 am

I worked at a very prestigious ad agency/PR firm once. We had an immaculately- and lavishly-decorated front sitting area for our clients and vendors, both would-be and existing. Resting on one of the linen-covered tables there was a dessert plate of the finest bone china. On this plate sat a sno-ball and a chocolate cupcake, both carefully manufactured by Hostess, maker of fine junque cuisine.

The sno-ball and the cupcake were calcified beyond reason, little petrified snack cakes. The purpose of their stone-like consistency was twofold:

a) we had an eensy camera feed that led to a little monitor back in the creative director’s office so that he could capture the looks on people’s faces as they poked, prodded and fondled the treats. The reactions and goings-on were, in fact, priceless.

b) anytime someone was sent on a business trip requiring luggage, it was the duty of the rest of the drunken diligent, client-maddened happy-go-lucky staff to make sure that the confections were ferretted away somewhere in the traveller’s luggage. Not as easy as it sounds by a long shot.

Oh, to be a corporate professional-type fast-tracker once again…

6 worked it out »

  1. April Love 1.12.2003

    Jett Superior…YOU RULE MY FUCKING world! If I were Cristo Carto, I would say that you were a F______ G_______! But I’m not, so I won’t! Thank you for the map!

     
  2. Tara 1.12.2003

    Dude, I would love to work someplace like that.

    I mean, I haven’t had a workplace in which craziness EVER ensued in at least three years. Sigh.

     
  3. waistdog 1.12.2003

    I’m guessing this wasn’t the PR firm for Hostess?

    “Our product stays the same, no matter how long it’s been out of it’s package.”

    Food with the shelf life of plutonium.

     
  4. April Love 1.13.2003

    It’s strange that you wrote about that specific job at this specific time. As of late, I have been seriously contemplating doing PR in the theater field. It’s that crazy soul sista vibe we gots goin’ on!

    Much Love!

     
  5. The Fancy Llama 1.13.2003

    Hey, was there a December TP? I don’t think there was. I looked, but I didn’t find. Booooo.

     
  6. Jett 1.14.2003

    tara: alas, the times, they are a-changin’. that was the same workplace where ‘creative meetings’ were scheduled promptly each friday afternoon at four-thirty pee emm. you know, just after the liquor and chili-dog run. sheep dip scotch: OW.

    waisty: I’ve long said that only four things would survive a worldwide nuclear holocaust: tupperware, kudzu, cockroaches and twinkies.

    llama: how very observant of you. I am too broke to afford postage, thus no TACKY PACK last month, and mayhap not this one, either.

    april: *shudder*

     

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