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Jett Superior laid this on you on || April 1, 2003 || 2:49 pm

Once again, dear readery-type people, you have let your beloved Jett Grrrl down.

Yea verily, thou hast letteth mine Anti-Bloggy be awarded to another party yet again this year. As I did last year, I checked out the not really rightful recipient of MY FUCKING the ‘Biggest Potty Mouth’ award. Once again, I’ve found a handful of innocuous ‘fuck’s and ‘fucking’s, and none of the truly Creative Cursingtm that you will delightedly unearth here at Superior Industries.

For shame, for shame. Another hunk of tin (and scores of sacktime with relation to being a recipient of said hunk of tin) put to waste out here in Cyberia. It might as well have gone to Wil Wheaton; I mean, he drops the occasional f-bomb, doesn’t he?

Just to show you that “I’m-not-bitter-oh-noooo-I’m-not!”, I’ll share with you the speech I had prepared so that I, giver that I am, could bask in the glorious moment of Anti-Bloggies afterglow with you, the magnanimous Superior Muffinasses. It was a speech of unrivalled poetic proportions, a speech of earth-shattering directness, where gratitude flowed like milk and honey from my mouth and straight into your greedy, awaiting little ears:

Thanks a motherfucking wad, you cuntwhore bitchtit assjobbers. You rule my grabass peathumping cocklicking blogworld.

*sheds one lone, solitary, meaty tear*

*grabs crotch and tongues left nipple*

Shitpisstwatscrotum…you like me, you reeeeaaaalllly like me!

Such a good fucking speech. What a waste.

13 worked it out »

  1. waistdog 4.1.2003

    FUCK!!!!!

    I can grab my crotch. But I can’t seem to tongue my left nipple.

    I feel so udderly fucking useless.

     
  2. melly 4.1.2003

    I have to poopoo.

     
  3. brynne 4.1.2003

    udderly. heh.

     
  4. melly 4.1.2003

    I feel better now.

     
  5. redclay 4.1.2003

    i feel it, too, goshdarn it to heck.

    fiddlesticks.

    invectives.

    short words with extra vowells.

     
  6. April Love 4.1.2003

    Great speech.

    Happy Birthday, but shhhhh….it’s a secret.

     
  7. laura 4.2.2003

    well fuck a duck, i voted for you! heh, a couple more speeches like that and those what’s running this show will declare the site a federal disaster area, put it in a lead box, and bury it deep in the ground.

     
  8. @feckless 4.2.2003

    i didn’t even know they were going on, but i should have won. i have profanity in mouseovers, even. i’m a veritable fuckfest in every way except actual fucking.

     
  9. Jett 4.2.2003

    WHAT, LAUROID, YOU DIN’T LIKE MY SPEECHIFYING??

     
  10. Jett 4.2.2003

    waisty: practice, darling. it takes practice. and a certain genetic predisposition to flexibility.

    redclay: got the stuff. mortal coil shuffle….ahhhhh. (‘the night’…one of my favorite morphine albums)

    you’re a sentimental, in-love-with-love sap, just like me.

     
  11. laura 4.2.2003

    of course I hearted it! it’s the ultra-right ├╝ber-conservatives running things lately that i’m concerned about. paranoid much? me?

     
  12. Michelle 4.3.2003

    That was pure poetry to my ears.

    There’s always next year..

     
  13. Jett 4.3.2003

    That’s what you people told me LAST year, Michelle!

    *grumbles*

     

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