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Jett Superior laid this on you on || May 6, 2003 || 5:04 pm

Once, I dropped a lit cigarette into a boy’s eye. He still asked for a second date.

On that second date, he swallowed a dainty earring, one of a custom-made pair –little gold roses with diamond insets– given to me for my fifteenth birthday.

Great, Noel!” I hollered, “How am I going to explain this to my father??”

9 worked it out »

  1. Killer Badger 5.6.2003

    How exactly did he swallow this earing? It may just be I am a little conservative, but the second date seems a little early for ear sucking. . .

  2. Jett 5.6.2003

    See, it was like this:

    We were doing a rather nice tango (I’m shite at the tarantilla) and there were no roses, much less *any* fresh flowers (unless you count ragweed, which *I* certainly do NOT) to clench between teeth.

    So OF COURSE, being the generous soul that I am, I loaned him the earbob for authenticity’s sake.

    One sharp stop and turn was all it took before the earring went plummeting toward his intestines. Such a sad, sad state of affairs, really. Awkward, as well.

    Thus, the “….explain this to my father??” line; it would have been easier altogether if we were, say, making out in the back seat of his absolutely cherry powder-blue Mustang fastback.

    But the tango? The forbeeden donce? Nay, I could not speak to my father of such things, for fear he would call the boy (and by all rights and means, his family) out for a duel at dawn over the loss of my light-footed innocence.

    He did spend a wad of cashola on the ole ballet lessons, after all.

  3. Jett 5.6.2003

    I meant to say, “…it would have been easier altogether if we were, say, making out in the back seat of his absolutely cherry powder-blue Mustang fastback AT THE LOCAL GRAVEL QUARRY.”

    So sorry for the lack of detail. It will NEVER happen ay-gain!

  4. The Llama 5.6.2003

    Whoa… Badger, you’re here. Insane.

  5. Killer Badger 5.6.2003

    Well Llama, you stopped posting. I had to go somewhere to get a fix for my internet blog addiction. . .

  6. waistdog 5.7.2003

    So, uh, did you date the lad long enough to get that earring back?

    Or is that why you put you cigarette out in his EYE!

  7. Johnny T 5.7.2003

    No, the cigerette was put in his eye first as a preemptive punishment. Jett is on top of her game, I must say.

    But I too wonder, did you get the earing back? Or did you just figure that any earing that has explored all the crevices of his digestive system should never be used again? Or is it still lodged in there? I’m sure he needs a hydrochloric. You’d think he would feel that thing coming out though– OUCH!

    Unless it tottaly disolved and was absorbed into his body.

  8. April Love 5.7.2003

    It’s never too early for ear sucking.

  9. trouble 5.7.2003

    and its never to late to retrieve a lost earring.

    sounds like the makings of a good 18×4 question, a la lavendar lint


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