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Jett Superior laid this on you on || May 26, 2003 || 8:57 pm

I do not eat any meat that has been ground up and then stuck back together again.

My word, how I laughed. This girl’s a keeper.

Eerily true. In my case, at least. I seem to be a Minor Vidiot / Minor Artsy Vidiot / Major Musichead / Indie / Minor Literati / Minor Bookworm / Major Infoglutton / Minor Toyman / Minor Boardman.

The ‘party is back up and running (sort of). I missed all my military Superior Muffinasses! [insert disgusting kissy-face noises here]

What happens when your extended family finally all get computers and join us out here in Cyberia?

You get spammed off the fucking planet. That’s the way it happens to me, anyway. You?

But sometimes there are pretty good jokes. Observe:

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her, “Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show,” and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate…

The grandmother says, “Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.”

…and….

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba (who used to help him), was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later the old man received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad:
For heaven’s sake, dad, don’t dig up the garden, that is where I BURIED the BODIES.
Love, Bubba

At 4 AM the next day, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from Bubba:

Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant those potatoes now. It’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba

Hey, at least they’re not sending me e-mails advising me on how to make my penis larger.

7 worked it out »

  1. sugarmama 5.27.2003

    glad i made you laugh. i like the design of your weblog. very well done.

     
  2. Keith Morris 5.27.2003

    Maybe I’m just missing them, but where are your archives?

     
  3. Angel 5.27.2003

    you DON’T get the penis enlargement spam? How? How? For the love of God, how?

     
  4. Jett 5.27.2003

    sugarmama: thanks, but I dint do it. TheDane of http://www.nowheresville.us did. And he smells nice, too.

    Keith: they’ve been broken for some time. Despite the fact that theDane smells nice, he is rather forgetful in nature, and I don’t like to bug people, so they stay brokeded. You can find them in their entirity HERE.

    Angel: yes, I get it, but my family is not sending me more of it.

     
  5. sugarmama 5.27.2003

    Oh, nice job dane of nowheresville.

    Say, are you in Alabama? What part?

     
  6. Angel 5.28.2003

    oh, your family’s not sending them… that’s good.

    I wonder if my family will send ME any kind of electronic media when I move…

     
  7. i dont know if its a sign or anything, but,

    i have NEVER received any “you need a bigger penis” mail

     

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