A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || June 30, 2003 || 12:15 am

Okay, lemme tell you something here. If you are the owner of a vehicle that is painted white, washing it with bleach will not get it any fucking cleaner, shinier or repel bugs and birdshit any better. Okay?


Everyone tumbled out of the car this evening, still smelling wonderfully of the Gulf coast, into my open and waiting arms. Sam looked terrible, and had been complaining with an earache for twenty-four hours. The pain was sharp, and he was very draggy. I debated for a short bit after dinner whether or not to take him to the ER or to hit him with the Oticaine drops to alleviate some of the pain and wait to see the doctor tomorrow.

The internal debate didn’t last long, as his glands were swelling. I didn’t want to take the chance of his lymph glands going full-tilt puffy, because when his immune system is supressed, it tends to exacerbate his tics. He’s been virtually tic-free for so many weeks now that I hated to risk anything that would ramp them up again; off to the hospital we went, Scouty in tow (Scout wants to be a medicine-practicing astronaut one day, and she craves knowledge….she scoops it up in whatever manner she can, but most especially via observation. She is a visual learner, like me.).

When we got there the place was slap empty. Just in time, it seems, because a wave of people followed us in short fashion (we’re trend-setters, what can I say?). We got to the back in record time –ten minutes or so– and were seen by the doctor a short ten minutes later. As we were waiting for him to go write a scrip and for the nurse to bring meds for Sam, they ushered an older man and woman into the other side of the semi-private room. The doctor breezed in, going behind the curtain, and I heard the following exchange:

YOUNG HOTDOC: You know, Mister Flimmityflammity, huffing is very dangerous, and there are easier ways to get a buzz….
(hearty Doctor laughter)
MISTERFLIMMITYFLAMMITY (hereinafter referred to as BIGOLE DUMMY): Ayuh, ah guess…
YOUNG HOTDOC: Can you tell me what happened?
BIGOLE DUMMY: Wayull, Ah gotta white car, and Ah was goin’ ta warsh it
BIGOLE DUMMY: An’ since it’s white, Ah poured about a half-gallon’a bleach inta the bucket, then poured the car warsh soap innair
BIGOLE DUMMY: An’ Ah started warshin. Mah eyes burned at first, but Ah dint thank nothin’ uhvit.
BIGOLE DUMMY: Then Ah got ta coughin’ up brown stuff an’ ain’t stopped ever since.

Jeez criminy. It was all I could do not to rip back that curtain and leer at him, creepy and mocking.

Completely unrelated note: I just heard that Katherine Hepburn died.

“Ethel Thayer; thoundth like I’m lithping, doethn’t it?”
~ Henry Fonda in ‘On Golden Pond’

Rest in peace, graceful lady.

Won’t you sponsor me?

3 worked it out »

  1. 1) important to get on top of earache. i had earache last week and now i have a doctor’s appointment to ensure i dont go deaf. woo two infections at once, it’s like a party in there! fungal jungle party

    2) ahe. ahehe. visual learner. ahehe. you like to watch.

    3) Hepurn gets so many points for spelling her name with a K.

    4) convince me blogathon is coo.

  2. Jettomatika 6.30.2003

    I’m involved….you need further convincing than THAT? feh.

    You sponsor me, Wretched D, and you do it NOW, Mister!

    There are *prizes* involved. You know, that ‘free stuff’ you are so enamored of?

  3. Kate S. 6.30.2003

    Ok, now I get it with the bleach. Yes. Very dangerous to huff. Esp. when mixed with other cleaning chemicals. Like the hydrochloric acid we have to use up here to burn the rust stains off the porcelain (from the iron ore in the water.) Long *cough, cough* story.

    So, will tyke with earache be ok? Will Scout be a an astronaut doctor? I will keep tuned.


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