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Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 2, 2003 || 9:00 am

Okay, I concede. You people are right: I get the most AWESOME reader mail of ANY weblogger, EVER. Observe (pulled from the Muffinass Mailbag):

From : Gary

To : Jett

Subject : Hello

Date : Wed, 30 Jul 2003 08:30:50 -0500

I don’t know how I found your blog but I found it and found it strange, in a good way. Thanks for the entertainment. Take care.

Gary [somelastname], District Director

Board of Probation and Parole

[somenumber] [somestreet]

[somebiggishcity], TN [somezip]

Phone [somelandlinenumber]

Cell [somemobilenumber]

Of course, this mail intrigued me and required immediate response:

From : Jett

To : Gary

Subject : RE: Hello

Date : Sat, 2 Aug 2003 09:52:38 -0500

Dear Gary,

I love you. Welcome to the fold, you are now an official Superior Muffinass. State this distinction loudly and with pride. People may not know what the fuck that means, but they’ll kinda view you as a crazyperson, and if you leverage that just right, it can get you all kinds of fear-based respect and the like.

Gary, what I would really like to know, above all else, is do you get handcuffs with that job? Because there’s nothing quite like a man in a position of authority wielding handcuffs, take it from me. Especially real handcuffs, not those pansy-ass cheap ones you get from mail-order pr0n suppliers. I once had a real pair of police-issueds, given to me by my friend Jim, who is a cop in Omak, WA, but they were stolen from me quite unceremoniously one day (from my parked car in the lot of a pizza joint, for ham and hell) and I have never been quite the same since.

You have yourself a good day, dear Gary, and don’t be a stranger to [All blogged up and nowhere to go.]

Love and rockets,

That Jett Grrrl

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinkin’ that having not only a probation and parole officer, but a DISTRICT DIRECTOR of Probation and Parole as a reader and future ally in times of need (most especially in one’s home state) could come in quiiiiiiiite handy.

Especially if you were, say…..me. God bless you interweb, for all the surreal scenarios that you proffer up for my bedazzlement and mirth. AMEN! PASS THEM PEACHES!

5 worked it out »

  1. melly 8.2.2003

    I only get college guys who press their dicks against the monitor. But I still love ‘em!

     
  2. Jett 8.2.2003

    And Joe, melliloulou…don’t forget that you have Joe, who is worth at LEAST three college guys, dicks notwithstanding.

     
  3. redclay 8.2.2003

    notwithstanding?

     
  4. Jett 8.4.2003

    not. withstand, ing.

     
  5. Gary 8.5.2003

    What makes you think I don’t have mine against the monitor? I could be typing this with it. This is the internet. I wouldn’t lie.

     

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