A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 26, 2003 || 12:23 pm

The following is an open letter to my sixth grader:


Mommy’s brain is taxed. I can only stuff so many things in there.

Son, ask me how to diagram a sentence, ask me how the ice on an Alaskan glacier feels beneath the crampons strapped to my feets, ask me how to make a batch of cookies so delightful that they’ll make a grown man cry, ask me how a roomful of drunk Russian military officers smell. Ask me about sex, God, taxes, death.

Good Lord, just don’t ask me how to plot any of them in latitude and/or longitude on a globe for you. You have a daddy and a stepdaddy for that.

I love you and hope you can live with my imperfections,

This is where my kid stops being amazed at the breadth and scope of things I do know and starts silently condemning me for the things I don’t. Junior high, feh.

8 worked it out »

  1. jen 8.26.2003

    i was really hoping to panhandle some of jr’s 6th grade homework off on ya, are you saying that’s a no go, now?

  2. Patti 8.26.2003

    ask me how a roomful of drunk Russian military officers smell

    bah. bahahah! I’m thankful my kids never asked me if I know what the inside of an NCO club looks like. heh. That’s a story that’ll never leave this head. nope. never. (soooorry i missed you. line is open. please try your call again.)

  3. Joe 8.26.2003

    Jett, going through the same thing. My daughter is taking spanish and asking me questions I can’t answer. Hell, Josie is Hispanic and she can’t even answer the questions.

  4. aithne 8.26.2003


    Wonderful to hear from you. You have no idea how much you made me smile!

    And thank god I am not alone in this whole thing.

    Keep going g/f! You are doing just fine!


  5. melly 8.26.2003

    Crap, I better learn something.

  6. The Dane 8.26.2003

    Don’t worry Jetty. Even if yer boy don’t condemn you, I still will :-D Always there for you pal. Except when you call. Except when you call.

  7. Jett 8.27.2003

    That’s IT, Dane! The mass transit jokes are ON!

  8. The Dane 8.27.2003

    Speaking of… this morning was soooo crowded, I felt like I was on one of those trains bound for Auschwitz where they stop every four hours to spray you with hoses.


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