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Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 5, 2003 || 9:12 pm

Okay, I’ve kept quiet about this until now, but NO MORE.

Johnny Depp, FUCK YOU.

Dixie Chicks, FUCK YOU.

And, charming readers, FUCK ANY OF YOU that dares to defend their fucknoodle bullshit.

Earlier Maxim and I were setting the table for dinner and talking about this whole ‘dumb puppy’ brouha and I said that Depp deserves whatever assgrating he gets over this, just as the Chicks deserved what they got/are still getting.

“Oh sure,” Maxim said, “free speech is great until someone stands up and speaks out against the government.” I spun on my heel, nearly flinging the bowl of stir-fry I carried all over the damned place.

“My problem is not that they voiced their opinions,” I said, biting the words off so hard that I am now amazed that anything multisyllabic made it out of my mouth, “My problem is that in both cases, it was done on foreign soil. Their fucking First Amendment rights don’t extend beyond our own borders. Far as I’m concerned, it’s vile and treasonous behavior. He’s already taken steps toward expatriation; I say we force him the rest of the way there.

“That sorry ungrateful fuck did not say ‘the American government’; he said ‘America‘. He can suck my red-white-and-blue dick and choke on my patriot juice.”

Once again, in the stench of the unexpected (what the fuck planet do these entertainment dipshits live on, anyway??) aftermath we hear those famous, panicked “I was quoted out of context!” wheedlings. You know what? I give a fuck not. That’s the price you pay for speaking to a foreign journalist, particularly one that is likely as not surfing along on the wave of very real anti-American sentiments. You persons of dancy/singy/acty persuasion know that it’s all about the spin, baby: You look even more like jackasses when you claim surprise, because as dumb as the populace can be, we’re just not that fucking stupid, you simpering asswipes.

Tell you what, Depp-ole-boy….if indeedy America is a dumb puppy, I vote that you (since you’ve so obviously not renounced your citizenship) be looked upon as an official representative of this fine, fine nation.

Yep, you’d be great as the Designated Asshole.

Not like I have ever owned any of the Chicks’ music, but DAMN, I loved and wanted to buy ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and I sure did want to see ‘Once Upon A Time In Mexico’. Eh, easy come, easy go.

18 worked it out »

  1. Anonymous 9.5.2003

    i do not agree with any of these so called *celebrities* criticizing american policies on foreign soil. I also don’t know where they get off spouting political opinions when the lives they lived are so far removed from the everyday American’s… i have no stomach for *celebrities*… i just don’t get what is so great about them to care a shit about what they think… but if they don’t want to say it in america while they are living in america… they should shut the hell up…teh point i agree with you on is anyone making public statements against america on foreign soil should be liable for treason. as an american if i don’t agree with the president… i take action through the system… we have soldiers over there dieing everyday afraid for their lives…this is the same shit jane fonda did during viet nam… as long as we have boys/girls over there dieing i don’t feel anyone has a right to speak against their position there while they have their life on the line… and this misquote… or as tim robbins put it.. *i don’t think i should be penalized for speaking my mind*… well hello… the law of the universe applies…*payback is a bitch*!!!!

  2. Kingolf 9.6.2003

    Come the fuck on, Jett.

    Are you sure you want to live in a country you can’t critizice?

    Are you sure you want to be a nationalist?

    Are you sure you wanna be a fucking http://www.pabaah.com/ member?

    “Far as I’m concerned, it’s vile and treasonous behavior”

    Oh I see. Discard my questions. You’ve very clearly answered “yes” to them all.

    Fuck me, eh?

    Y’know, I really thought you had something going. A Southerner who’s not racist, not homo-phobic, not mindlessly nationa… oh wait.

  3. Jett 9.6.2003

    Kingolf….did you hear me say that people cannot criticize? Do you hear me castigating Sarandon, Clooney, Garofolo and every last Baldwin brother?

    It was not the complaints, dearie, it was the context of them. Kindly read for comprehension. If it’s not valuable enough to say here at home, then it’s not valuable enough to be said. I hold no truck with cowardice.

    And the next time you deem to insult me, sassy, don’t base your jabs on the pat, “Oh, she’s Southern, that explains it…” bullshit. And here I thought you were more clever than that!

    Because my opinion differs from yours, you deem it ‘mindless’: you spoke VOLUMES about yourself right there.

  4. The Dane 9.6.2003

    Jett. Johnny was sooooo cool in Fear and Loathing. Therefore, you are wrong about him.

    Ha. Now stick that in your hayseed pipe and suck it.

  5. Ezrael 9.6.2003

    One last thing, and then I’ll shut up: if it becomes treasonous to speak against the United States or its Government while abroad for citizens, it will soon become treasonous for them to do it here as well. (After all, if it’s printed in a foreign magazine, does it matter if you’re home or abroad when the interview is conducted? And if it doesn’t matter, then does it matter if it’s a foreign or domestic magazine…especially in this era of multinational publishing companies, which are all too easily described as ‘foreign’ if we so choose. Conde Nast as one example.) And this is at all costs to be avoided, since it is the primary weapon of a totalitarian state. Rather a million morons get printed in various foreign rags than we be gagged at home.

  6. andrew 9.6.2003

    Jett —

    One word: a-fucking-men.


  7. Kingolf 9.6.2003

    Alright, I can see my comment was moronic.

    I really can.

    Sorry for that bullshit.

    If you won’t read all this shit because I’ve shown to be a fucking idiot, fair enough. I’m not sure I would. (Yes I am. I’m a “feedback whore” as Amy put it)

    I still mean some of it, though.

    You can’t attack someone solely based on an attack against a nation without being nationalistic. You don’t support the idea that you shouldn’t be allowed to (verbally) attack a nation, do you?

    “Because my opinion differs from yours, you deem it ‘mindless’”

    Because it’s nationalistic, I call it mindless. There have never been any justification for nationalism, it’s irrational. IE mindless. Why is America better than Denmark, France, Iraq, Peru or the fucking Vatican?

    If you can give me a reason for that, you were right. Depp was a moron to speak against the best country in the world.

    I’d like you to define what you mean about “America.” Do you mean the culture? Or maybe the ‘real’ USA (IE the geographical region)? Or some ideolagical concept?

    “you spoke VOLUMES about yourself right there”

    Yeah I did. Bear in mind that it was morning me, sulking me.

    Bah! That’s no excuse to be a moron, I know.

    I really am sorry for that.

    Why do you even care what Johnny says?

    Would you be angry if I traveled to America and thought it was a shit country?

    You’re saying that you’re only angry ’cause he said it in Europe. (Or so I understood it. However, I’m a 15 year old with an IQ value roughly as high as the number of candles on my b-day cake)

    Is his crime that he said it, or that he said it outside USA?

    You know what will happen, his career will go to hell. Is he a coward for valuing his career more than his opinion? Yeah, I’d say he is.

    Is it fair that you can’t have a career if you don’t like America? No, I wouldn’t say so.

    He can’t express his thoughts without severe punishment, that much is clear. Now comes the tricky queston: Whoms fault is it?

    His, for having anti-American thoughts or the public for not tolerating anti-American thoughts?

    For the third time, I’m ashamed of that comment.

    If you want to anally abuse me with a nuclear torpedo, feel free to do so. It’s not like I don’t deserve it.

  8. red clay 9.6.2003

    it’s the element of cowardice, king-golf.

    far from these shores, he says things he’d never say here.

    you got to give him credit for being able to spell pander in three diffrant languages, tho.

  9. John 9.6.2003
  10. guy 9.7.2003

    Suppose I am an American citzen, and I bitch about my country’s behavior in my blog. My blog can be read all over the world. I can post to my blog from almost anywhere in the world. Does that make me any more or less of a culprit than Johnny or Natalie?

  11. Jett 9.7.2003

    Kingolf: ‘them’, as in Depp and the Chicks. Er.

  12. John 9.8.2003

    Well, normally I’m not very suitable. I prefer a t-shirt and jeans.

    But as long as treason got mentioned, I have to say that Karl H. Rove’s recent “speech” is far more important to considerand damaging than anything some actor has to say about how we behave as a country

    I agree with a lot of what Ez. said, except from what I understand of it, I don’t like the “right of reply” thing., especially as it is applied to things like weblogs.

    Also, is it just me or did anyone else while watching the trailer for ‘Once Upon A Time In Mexico’ think it was for Desperado 2?

  13. Kingolf 9.8.2003

    “And really, REALLY, do you have to ask why the U.S. is better than those places you cited?”

    Yes. You haven’t answered me.

    “Move. Move now. You are a fool and we have far too many of those wandering around clucking right about now. ”

    You still haven’t explained nationalism.

    I’ll quote myself:

    “He can’t express his thoughts without severe punishment, that much is clear. Now comes the tricky queston: Whoms fault is it?

    His, for having anti-American thoughts or the public for not tolerating anti-American thoughts?”

    That wasn’t rhetoric, Ghedd.

  14. Jett 9.10.2003


    I’m not ignoring this thread, I’ve just not had a suitable block of time to reply (three tests and several emergency cases requiring me to be janey-on-the-spot thrown into the regular busy-busy mix).

    And there you have it. Since you all do not practice blanket subservience and align yourselves dumbly with my wishes and opinions, I will be sending out the ‘(even) Deviant(er) Muffinass Hit Squad’ soon….soon meaning ‘as soon as I get them hired’. They will play Clutch loudly, pee on your favorite piece of furniture and tickle you until you are hearkened back to the days when you were a small child and believed you would die before the tickling would ever stop.

  15. Kingolf 9.14.2003

    “I’m not ignoring this thread”

    Of course not!

  16. Sean 9.14.2003

    I believe the situation takes a bit more social understanding than you have kingolf…

    Parents try not to argue in front of children, likewise, a good boss never bitches his employees out in front of customers. In the military, you will never see two generals argue in public. If you’re having problems with someone, you try and maintain a professional attitude until you are in private.

    This requires tact. A character trait somewhat lacking in most of your comments.

    No one is pissed off at Hollywood for voicing it’s opinion. People are pissed off because A: For some reason they believe that their opinion matters more than everyone else’s. B: Because they didn’t have the balls to say it at home, they said it while they were abroad, probably because they knew there were more people who agreed with them over there. And Finally C: If these celebrities suddenly care sooo much about the politics of their country, why don’t we see Martin Sheen, or Johnny depp protesting for lower taxes, better healthcare, and a higher minimum wage here at home?

  17. Kingolf 9.15.2003

    “This requires tact.”

    No it doesn’t.

    “you try and maintain a professional attitude until you are in private.”

    Neither me nor Jett is proffesional.

    “A: For some reason they believe that their opinion matters more than everyone else’s.”

    YOU put their opinion above others’. You get angry because Depp said he didn’t like America, but you don’t give a fuck if I say so.

    “B: Because they didn’t have the balls to say it at home,”

    I’ll quote Ezrael: “What difference does it make where you say it in a world where it will be in every magazine?” and “Is there a physical danger to saying things critical about the US that makes it braver? … if there is then he’s right.”

    “C: If these celebrities suddenly care sooo much about the politics of their country, why don’t we see Martin Sheen, or Johnny depp protesting for lower taxes, better healthcare, and a higher minimum wage here at home?”

    If you get involved in politics you better be involved in everything?

    Goddammít you’re moronic.

    “lower taxes, better healthcare”

    You gotta choose ONE (1) of those. How the fuck do you expect to pay less for a BETTER healthcare?

  18. Kingolf 9.18.2003

    “I’m not ignoring this thread”

    Heaven forbid!


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