A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 26, 2003 || 9:03 pm

Now then, before I push off to caress a gheetahr and laugh with friends and pound back takillya, I’d like to direct your attention to the little counter-dealie at the bottom of this page. Sometime last night, someone pushed it over the 50K mark. Cool. Thanks, you guys, for showing an interest in the goings-on around here for the last three years. I never really imagined I’d build an audience, and had no earthly idea that I’d still be doing it after three years’ time…

And oh my, there’ve been some delightful friendships that have developed as a result; I’d have never banked on that, either.

I’m constantly fascinated to have people like Mandy (comments, two entries ago) turn up and say, “Hey, I been here for a couple years now; you don’t suck alla time.” As I stated before, I wonder how they get here, why they stay (what was/is ‘the hook’?), are they okay, did I give them reason to smile on a shitty fucking day? I hope so. I hope I dole out food for thought sometimes, as well. I don’t mind being the dancing monkey, if sometimes I can impart a wee message whilst doing so.

This medium has been strangely cathartic for me, and the most committed I’ve ever been to a journal in my life. That in and of itself is an oddity, because I love the heft of a pen in my hand, I adore the act of drawing it across a creamy sheet of paper and magically seating content there. I’ve just recently taken on a penpal on the other side of the world so as to put myself in the habit of forming sentences that aren’t mere bits and scraps of a future typewritten piece. I’m looking forward to dropping fat envelopes off at the post office, looking forward to running to my own mailbox and peering in like an expectant child waiting for Christmas-morn magic.

To be quite honest, I’ve thought more than once lately about pulling the plug here at [Abuantg.]; I get nervous-nervous-nervous as the hits climb slowly and surely. Most of the time I simply turn my attentions away from it: I try not to look at the numbers as I’m looking at the referrer logs, seeing where people come from, looking for juicy bits to slide my eyeballs across and savor in my brain. I like hearing your take on things, too, and quite immensely.

I tell this to my friends; tell them that the more people come here, the more awkward and uncomfortable I feel, but I can’t not write, and this medium, this blog-thing, makes it so deliciously easy and smooth. The discomfort at not putting it out there is greater than the discomfort of doing so, so I keep doing it until I reach the tipping point, wherever that may be.

So, most of my friends understand when I tell them about my itchy-sweater feeling. They know what I mean, because they have felt it too; likely as not, this is why they are my friends….at least partly. redclay said to me one day on the phone, “If you don’t do it for the hits, then why DO you do it?” Apparently this is a question he’s asked of several keepers o’ the weblog.

“I do it,” I said emphatically, “because I’m afraid if I don’t grab it and get it down, I will forget.”

“That’s the best answer I’ve ever gotten to that question, sugar,” is what he said to me.

So yeah, this is a working scrapbook of my life; a collage with icky bits and tender bits and bawdy bits and thoughtful bits, sometimes smoothly presented and flowing like the ole Mississippi, sometimes clumpy with glue and bits of stray fuzz, distracted. In some way, I feel like some of the purest parts of me are represented here on your screen, and it freaks me out and delights me all at the same time to know this.

I can’t for the life of me say how long this particular ride will last; I guess I just wanted to tell all of you thank you for making it a fun and interesting and meaningful one thus far. I honestly and truly believe that I have some of the best readers in Cyberia: You fuckers are thoughtful and witty and passionate and intelligent; you’ve evidenced this to me time and time again in the comments and e-mails you gift me with. To those of you that have not yet gifted me with your voice, for whatever reason: Well, thank you just as much, and if you’re ever ready to step forward from the shadows and grin shyly at me, you will be received warmly.

So, there’s that. And on today, the Day Of Fifty-Thousand, I would be remiss to not share with you this, a most awesome google referrer:

Larry Mullen never smiles

I am –remarkably enough– number seven.

And less powerful, but equally as stunning, is the number three spot I hold for baz luhrmann long toenails. Rock on.

8 worked it out »

  1. Hatley 9.26.2003


  2. Hans Dibbler 9.27.2003

    Larry Mullen does roll his eyes and shake his head. I have seen him do it regarding one of Bono’s fits. I am pretty confident that if I was close enough, I also would have heard him mutter “wanker”.

  3. The Llama 9.27.2003

    First off, Joe says your voice is sexy. Agreed.

    Secondly, I’d like to note that you’ve officially inspired me once more in the ways of blogging.

    And now begins the second phase.

  4. kalee 9.27.2003

    Very first place I come to read every night when I arrive home from work. I’d miss it immensely if it and you weren’t here anymore. So thanks to you…for sharing.

  5. The Llama 9.27.2003

    Yeah, if you stop I’ll come box your sorry non-bloggin ass, you punk.

  6. Seven indeed!

    Speaking of which, did you ever see the ‘Friends’ episode where The Girls draw a diagram of the female body as a road map for sex and take The Guys through it? “Seven! Seven! Seven!”

  7. as far as referals go, i think being number one for “i like pie and sausages too mmm its good for you” reigns supreme.

    as far as hits go, there is aplenty softwares out there for to list only referals, not counts. but you know as well as i do (gratuitous Wayne’s World quote) that you are all about the numbers, yo.

  8. Mandy 9.30.2003

    I would never say you sucked. Your honesty and humor has kept me reading faithfully these past couple years.

    Your writing voice is so different from anyone else I have come across and I Love all the Southern, references having roots in Looozeeanner and Missippi. Us natives know that Mississippi loses a syllable when pronounced correctly.

    Keep on writing and I will keep on reading!


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