Parents: We actually say these asinine things. You force us to, kids.
Circa last night:
“HELLO!!? I asked you people a question, and it wasn’t ‘Hey, will you please bicker amongst yourselves for an interminable amount of time so as to drive me the full rest of the way over the edge and into the swirling darkness of complete insanity?’”
10.24.2003
We not only say really dumb stuff the kids know how to come back on you. I was mad at my son once and used the old line, “I’ll kill you and make another one just like you.” He snapped back, “No you won’t. You had a vasectomy.” I really did want to kill him then.
10.25.2003
Oh, My God, Jett, you said that too!!!! We are so in sync!!!
10.25.2003
Me to our 3 year old granddaughter; “You spill that blankity blank dirnk one more time, I’m going to get grandma in here to paddle ya!”
Upon my spilling my coffee an hour later….”Grandpa, you spilled your coffee again!” … then disappears…My wife comes into the living room, with a shit eatin grin on her face…
“What the hell you grinnin’ bout?” I mutter. “Paige sais you spilled your coffee again, and wants me to paddle ya!”
10.25.2003
me:
“You need to pick up the dog shit!”
child:
“Why do I always have to pick up the dog shit……oops!”
me:”Your not in trouble, I said it first.”
10.26.2003
Our three year old overhead her dad, (X-Marine), recounting a Knock Knock Joke that was going around Kuwait…As usual he didn’t realize she overhead this until the granddads 83rd birthday party…
“Grandpa?”
“Yes Paige”
“Knock, Knock”
“Who’s There?”
“F— You!”
Silence and a stare that could make Superman melt came my way, since I am the father of the Marine.
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