A Random Image
 

Jett Superior laid this on you on || November 4, 2003 || 1:07 am

Public! Service! ANNOUNCEMENT.

The next (and I mean THE VERY NEXT) person who says to me that my frustration or disappointment or blinding rage or tendency to get snippity when immersed in any of the former ‘surely must be pee emm ess’ is getting beat half to death with the business end of a tampon.

I started to say, ‘…beat bloody with the business end of a tampon’, but that was damn funny and I’m not trying to convey humor at this very moment. But I reserve the right to use it on the occasion that I am.

THAT OKAY WITH YOU INGRATES??

13 worked it out »

  1. Gary 11.4.2003

    Does that mean the second, third and fourth persons can get away with it? JUST KIDDING.

    I too think its small minded to balme everything on PMS. Sometimes a woman is just pissed off for her own reasons. Sometimes they don’t need a reason. Sometimes it just feels good…at least that’s the way my wife explained it to me just before she hit me with the Crock Pot.

     
  2. gjoe 11.4.2003

    Whatever, Ms. Superior.

    You’re just PMSing again.

     
  3. waistdog 11.4.2003

    When guys go into blinding rages, or get snippity….they’re just considered to be assholes!

     
  4. sugarmama 11.4.2003

    Well, if the guy goes into a rage AND he’s short, then he is said to have a Napoleonic complex.

    Aside from the “you have PMS” accusation, I also hear this one:

    “Must have been a while since you’ve gotten laid.”

     
  5. Sean 11.4.2003

    Could it be estrogen poisoning?

    …running for the bomb shelter…

     
  6. Hans Dibbler 11.4.2003

    I still can’t gte used to commercials on PMS; I mean really, God never intended Sesame Street to be sandwiched between commercials.

    Thank goodness Dr. Sagan didn’t have to find sponsors, lest we’d have seen Cosmos supported by Chong glass and Zig Zig.

     
  7. melly 11.5.2003

    You have done your part in warning the menz.

     
  8. Leslie 11.5.2003

    Dont hurt anyone Jett…we still need ya’ around for a while.

     
  9. Jett 11.5.2003

    Dearest Seanie,

    Please be my standby boyfriend should Maxim ever fall into a hole or something equally heartrending.

    Love and Rockets,

    Jett

     
  10. Jettomtika 11.5.2003

    melliloulou: yes. I am, after all, a humanitarian.

    Hans ole fella: you remember a certain gymnast, who used to do certain ‘feminine protection’ commercials before they were commonplace? I still have a price on her head for opening up the floodgates (PUN!) should anyone choose to honor the deal. even at the tender age of seven those commercials made me wince.

     
  11. Gary 11.5.2003

    Jett, how long is that standby list? Can I get on it just in case???

     
  12. Jett 11.5.2003

    Gary, while you own leg shackles, Seanie posesses a Super Hot Phone Voice, a job creating art/magic and a (sometimes-not-so) quiet loathing for The Big Baddie Known As The Establishment.

    Besides, were anything to happen to Maxim, I’ll most likely trail a string of boyfriends that culminates in several simultaneous affairs and a line-up of men swearing at me through clenched teeth before leaving me to my fate.

    I know how to LIVE, I tell ya!

     
  13. Gary 11.6.2003

    That was the most eloquent (and lengthy) NO I have every received. You do have a tender side.

    As it happens that I am the proud possessor of a phone voice somewhere between those of Gomer Pyle and Granny Clampett therefore I just wouldn’t do it for you so with heavy heart I confront the bitter truth and I will not be waiting for your call saying, “Maxim’s out of the picture. Grab those Smith and Wessons and get the fuck down here.” I will merely worship from afar.

     

RSS feed for comments on this post.

(you know you want to)