A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 2, 2003 || 12:16 am

These are the things bad girls do, believe it or not.

I sat down behind a cello today, having never played one before in my life. I managed to draw ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ out of it without one squeak, squawk or squook. Gifted, I am.

The cello seems to be a very fulfilling instrument. I must look into owning one, and then learning to play it (somewhat) properly, with a great deal of passion and gusto and verve. I will be muted and cool and devil-driven with my cello. I will be the envy of CelloBitches everywhere.

The cello really is very sexy, whether you believe it or not. I immediately felt sort of zennish and at one with that motherfucker. Drawing the bow across it and getting that low, resonant hum sort of caused a little stir in my no-no bits.

Finals all next week, save for the lab one in two days. I am in the process of crafting a cheer in honor of neurotransmitters. Instead of pompons I will shake all my old pill bottles…the ones I keep for pure sentimental reasons. Only now, however, they are filled with wildly-painted pinto beans representing all my favorite colors representing all my favorite highs. Who said it’s no fun being clean?

Today is a very Dandy Warhols day (‘If I ever could win / If I ever could see / If I just could ever / Remember to think / About anything’).

I went to the hardware store today and stole picked up what must have been like fifty of those little laminate tile thingys. You see, it couldn’t really be stealing since they’re free, and since I dint even so much as stick them in my jacket pocket. Nonetheless, the back of my head told me that the pudgy little forlorn guy making like a watchman in the countertops department was giving me some For Real Stinkeye. I wanted to shake my little package of brass screws in his general direction, but I was feeling decidedly non-cheeky, so I just smiled wanly to myownself (myownself grinned million-watt back at me) and proceeded the ten miles away to the checkout stand, beyond which sat the doors winking brilliantly in a very non-wintery sunny day. Hello car, take me somewhere, anywhere but here.

There is art in the air, brothers and sisters. Can you not smell it?

16 worked it out »

  1. waistdog 12.2.2003

    You somehow knew that Melly and I were about to jump all over the Cello…….that vibrating piece of wood that you hold between your legs and stroke…….but you beat us to it, with the “no-no bits” comment.

    I can smell the art from here.

    Have fun.

  2. The Dane 12.2.2003

    C’mon, you know you just wanna be a tagline in a Weezer song…

  3. Jett 12.2.2003

    I thought I was? Many times over?

  4. Gary 12.2.2003

    As the old TV advertisement used to say, “There’s always room for Cello”

    Try an upright bass some time Jett. Talk about vibrating your no-no parts?

  5. sean 12.2.2003

    I’m imagining some new performance art band where a group of women artfully fiddle the speed controls of the sybians they’re “riding” to create a form of music. What would be the perfect little catchy name for the group, ala Stomp?

    Groan…Shudder…Scream…Oh, God!

    Don’t tell me I’m going to hell, I’m working on getting bumped from coach for the trip down.


  6. Cush 12.2.2003

    I have a CD called “Apocoliptica”. It is a recording of 4 world renowned cellists(?) from Europe that got together and played an hour or so of Metallica covers. No singing, just rocking… Um, well, rocking in a soft, easy, quietly-banging-your-head sort of way. Jett – do you want it? No? Okay, how ’bout the cd, want that?

    Like I said yesterday, don’t be strange… miss talking at you

  7. it is cool knowing what a Apocoliptica is

    it is sucks knowing what a sybian is

  8. brynne 12.2.2003

    Whatcha gonna make with those tiles?

  9. red clay 12.2.2003

    i feel cello in my chest, where my heart is sposed to be.

    i ever send you mysteries of life?

    only rock band wuth a damn with a cello.

  10. Lili 12.3.2003

    reminds me of the cello scene with Jack and Susan Sarandon in Witches of Eastwick – made that instrument all the more appealing…

  11. Joe 12.3.2003

    The Dandy Warhols rock!!!

  12. peter 12.4.2003

    Cello is eminently sexy, and highly underused in rock bands, in my opinion. The lack of frets scares me a little, but its otherwise fairly high on my lists of instruments i’d like to own.

    Certainly a worthy instrument of taking up when you have a spare moment (is that ever); electric cellos are starting to get slightly affordable.

  13. Karen Zipdrive 12.5.2003

    Forget all the cello business, I was so wowed that you can spell “pompons” correctly, I think I may be in love.

  14. red clay 12.5.2003

    crooked fingers. i forgot about crooked fingers.

  15. Sgt. Mac 12.5.2003

    I thought a Sybian was one of those Star Trekie characters….But now I see its some kind of a mechanical horsie….Geedyup!

  16. Jettomatika 12.8.2003

    Gary, I said NOT ONE WORD about vibrating them, only a stir in them. quite a difference, sir.

    sean, welcome to the ride! tickets, please.

    Cush, of COURSE I know them! and yes, I want it! I always want it! Free music, that is. I can’t help but be strange. Neither, my dear, can you, ya ole phone whore.

    bryndo, I gots me some ideas…if you want to send along a fresh address, I’ll send you some when finished.

    red, no sir, you dint, but I got the movie….I’ll watch it this weekend with a fresh batch of 1800 at my side.

    Lili, yes.

    Joe, YES!

    peter, it is, in fact, never, but ima make room for the cello. the pull was just far too pahrful a thang.

    Karen, perhaps melly has told you of my fondness for your name and your pistol-whipping, no-bullshit style? hang with me, baby. I can not only spell ‘em, I can shake ‘em while spelling other things as well.


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