A Random Image

Things that melly and I have in common that make her believe that she is entitled to sleep with me….even though I’m not a lesbian and she, admittedly, is inexperienced at being one (and, in her own words, is not truly a lesbian and only wants “…to play with boobies, really.”).

~S.E. Hinton
~Cowboy Junkies
~chili pepper lights
~the belief that my husband has a hot phone voice

And you know, I’ve had relationships in the past that were based on less.

15 worked it out »

  1. Mr. Lonely 1.11.2004

    I have sets of falsies and a variety of cup sizes in the glove compartment of the El Camino.

    Why can’t Melly be satisified with those? I mean, the big pair has nipples and everything.

     
  2. pawz 1.11.2004

    you do know that you have just given all your male readers fodder for their ultimate fantasies, don’t you?!!

     
  3. waistdog 1.11.2004

    I’m a bit sad that I wasn’t included in the list of things you two have in common.

    I think I’ll go stand in the snow now.

     
  4. john 1.11.2004

    Can you be a Greaser if you’re bald? Would that make you a Shiner? And if so, could you get out of wearing that dorky hat, but still get to drive those little cars?

     
  5. yvonne 1.11.2004

    speaking as someone who has made out with melly in the back of a cab, i can say that her lesbian skills are magnificent. I couldn’t get her to stop playing with my boobies, but then again, who could stop, they’re so freakin nice.

     
  6. Bob 1.11.2004

    I’m typoing thids wit h one hansd.. dont’ miunds m ee…

     
  7. Jettomatika 1.11.2004

    Mister Lone-a-lee: I’m on to you. Don’t think I don’t see your mad efforts to draw me and the lovely melly into your twisted love triangle.

    pawz!: I wield (eye before ee except after cee) unspeakable power. Therefore, I shall not speak of it.

    waist darling: I don’t view you as a ‘thing’, but if you’d like me to, I could start.

    johnny: I don’t recall mentioning shriners.

    yvonne: while your beeboos are indeed nice, I’ve no desire to fondle them. melly is just an unseemly tramp, and not really in the charlie chaplin sense of the word.

    Bob: as always, please recall the conversation we had about safe sex, i.e., don’t jack off near any outlets, thanks. I value your friendship and would hate to have to tell your wife that yes, once again, your shenanigans are All My Fucking Fault.

     
  8. waistdog 1.12.2004

    Thank you Jett.

    I can un-wrap the pepper lights from around my frozen body now.

     
  9. melly 1.12.2004

    Wait, I didn’t know I felt Yvonne up.

     
  10. yvonne 1.12.2004

    you didn’t. you just rested your head on them. i just said that for the dramatic effect.

     
  11. Skillzy 1.12.2004

    ~S.E. Hinton – who?

    ~Cowboy Junkies – kind of a downer, but their first album used to be my favorite thing to play on sleepy Sunday mornings

    ~chili pepper lights – *shakin my head*

    ~your hubby’s phone voice – bet ya a dollar mine’s hotter…no brag, just fact

    ~playing with boobies – who doesn’t like that? how can you NOT play with em? I am 100 per cent lesbian for sure!

     
  12. melly 1.12.2004

    Everybody is entitled to their opinion. Lucky for me, your’s makes you an unlikely bet on getting all lesbian up in here with jett.

     
  13. Skillzy 1.12.2004

    Never underestimate the power of a dayum shexy voice.

     
  14. melly 1.13.2004

    Never underestimate the power of someone who can impersonate at least three characters from Sponge Bob Square Pants!

     
  15. Skillzy 1.14.2004

    Only 3? SpongeBob is the background music to my so-called life. Fish Paste!

     

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