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Jett Superior laid this on you on || July 27, 2004 || 4:39 pm

Outgassing: It’s what’s for dinner.

To those of you wondering about the feasibility of a microwave oven and a styrofoam carryout container* getting together and making a little hot dinner action, I say ‘Nay! Nay, dear Muffinasses!’

Yeah, um, don’t do that. Don’t put styrofoam in the nuker.

I do, in fact, live dangerously so that none of you are forced to. Your well-being is obviously paramount to me.

*Shut up. Just shut the living fuck up. I’d not eaten since ten this morning and was all headachey and crabby and was blinded by my overwhelming desire for those leftover Szechuan vegetables.

Now I’m just blinded. And overwhelmed. And yes, there’s headachey still, as well. Plus some burgeoning upper-respiratory thing that may or may not be the precursor to fatal lung cancer. And I think I seared the contacts to my eyeballs, but I can’t be entirely sure, as after the first onslaught of painful, stinging fumes, I could not longer actually feel the eyes.

But no worries; I looked in the mirror and they are still there. Plus, there’s that whole ’sense of sight’ thing (which in truth was never all that fucking stupendous in the first place).


4 worked it out »

  1. The Llama 7.27.2004

    Really? Because I’ve styrofoam in there before with no problems.


  2. Nina 7.27.2004

    1 large styrofoam cup of coffee + 30 seconds in microwave = muchly inventive, loud cursing

  3. Jettomatika 7.27.2004

    Look, Lllllllama, we’re not talking about your nineteen-seventies Frigidaire microcooking apparatus here.

    We are talking about a twenty-first century, gigawatt-hurling, finely-tuned machines of dinner-nuking DEATH!

    (Okay, maybe not gigawatts, but you get the idea.)

  4. you can make ball lightening with a grape and a microwave. try microwaving a light bulb too. or a burning match. good times.


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