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Jett Superior laid this on you on || July 23, 2004 || 11:41 am

“Will you wipe my butt?”

How on earth can I justify sending my five-year-old off to kinnygarten in three short weeks when he still asks this question with regularity?*

This small matter only came to my attention two weeks ago when Scout met me at the bathroom door saying she needed to talk to me.

Pulling me to the side, and with a wry look on her face, she said, “Don’t you think it’s about time you taught him to wipe his ownself, seeing as he goes off to school in about a month?”

What a terrible parent I am. The thought never even occurred to me.

But –in all fairness– the prospect of having to clean Mathias’ ass until he is thirty-eight never did, either. I’ma get right on that: I’ll be ordering Maxim to ‘…take care of this!’ post-haste.

*triple points to me for poop-related pun without ever actually typing/saying the word ‘poop’ or any of its clever euphemisms….it’s good to be queen.

2 worked it out »

  1. brynne 7.23.2004

    When my younger brother was about to go to kindergarten, I’m pretty sure that was my approach to my mom about my younger brother and his deficiency in his own asswiping… I guess she didn’t think about it either.

    and welcome back… looks like I’m a leetle tardy, eh?

  2. Rob 7.24.2004

    Shouldn’t that be post-waste? hhmmm hmm hhhmm…..okay…..


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