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Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 7, 2004 || 12:20 am

Oh bloody hell.

It is twelve-twenty-two ay emm on Tuesday (IhateTuesdays) morning and I have a raging case of the hiccups.*

This is, as you might well imagine, aggravating the shit out of me. Most especially since I wanted to be in bed by ten, ten-thirtyish tonight.

What causes hiccups? Is it a deep-seated nervous condition? Is it retribution from the Gods because you slipped up and forgot to sacrifice a pig somewhere down the line? Is it a lack of something rudimentary in your diet, like potassium?+

Were potassium indeed the culprit, I could just jingle up our pal BLAMB! (isn’t it so fun to do that with his name? everybody, c’mon; do it with me….BLAMB! BLAMBBBB! rolls out of the diaphragm and off of the tongue so very nicely) and order up one of his specialty nanner sammiches.

Hold the mayo, please, BLAMB!. I’m not that kind of girl.

I’m too fucking punchy to be writing my own name tonight, much less an inane, rambly blog entry. Sumbitching hiccups.

Everybody! Go down to the comments and yell the first thing that comes to your mind!! And use many, many ex!clam!ation! points!!! This is a participation entry; participate, damnit!

pee essworship the flying cow. that is all.

*Or, for all you raging traditionalists out there, the hiccoughs.

+Because potassium imbalance surely must be the root of all dietary evil.

18 worked it out »

  1. The Llama 9.7.2004

    BOOBS!! ARE S!O COOL!!!

     
  2. MaC 9.7.2004

    I LOVE MITTENS, NO WAIT, SQUIRRELS! YES SQUIRRELS, OKAY, SQUIRRELS AND MITTENS!!! HAHAHA

     
  3. hans 9.7.2004

    Empty sausage!!! (slapping bongo)

    Strychnine pie!!! (bongo again, harder)

    Monkey, Cattle guard to my soul!!!

    (Vilolent Bongo abuse)

    LIME!!!!!!

    (put’s head down)

     
  4. SmedFX 9.7.2004

    BAWK BAWK CHICKEN!

     
  5. charles 9.7.2004

    I used to eat lettuce and mayonnaise sandwiches. I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. I wish I wasn’t talking about in now, but I am.

     
  6. bilah 9.7.2004

    !R!o!o!f!t!o!p!s!

    upontherooftoplisteningtopunkrock reminds me of !jeremy! and the middle of the street!

     
  7. joaaanna 9.7.2004

    Booger, booger, fart, fart, weener.

     
  8. Jettomatika 9.7.2004

    Llama: goes without saying. but you can say it HERE, on AUD!IEN!CE! PARTICIPATION DAY!

    Mac, good to see you again. After I groggily made my way to the computer to search for clown prOn for melly order vitamins this morning and read your comment, it made my day!

    hans: two snaps. up. in a circle!

    Smeddy: I like your spirit, pal!

    chas: that seems to be a pattern with you. Breathe….I was trying to not be rude.

    bila: oh, the new folks! I love when they pipe up from outta nowheres!

    joaaaana: your grasp of third-grade humor is astounding! I’m madly curious about all those extra ays, as well.

    KEEP CRANKIN’ OUT THE HITS, MIGHTY MUFFINASSES!

     
  9. Jettomatika 9.7.2004

    See, lack of strikeout ability and/or knowledge about MY VERY OWN COMMENTS SECTION is a bummer.

    Mac, the comment to you was supposed to have gone, “After I groggily made my way to the computer to (BEGIN STRIKEOUT)search for clown prOn for melly(END STRIKEOUT) order vitamins this morning and read your comment, it made my day!”

    Visual jokes, they is complicated.

     
  10. LDH 9.7.2004

    Eggplant! Giant grasshoppers placing large alligators near trees!

    Ectoplasm! Elephants can topple old plastic lawnchairs and small mosques!

    Wankel! What all Nigerian kings effectively level!

    Rotary engine! Return our tertiary airplane rotors, you evil nitwit getting into nude exercise!…

     
  11. Kat 9.7.2004

    Why oh why am I in Oklahoma and how much longer will the torment [Trifling orangatans roam madly ever nearer town.] last?

    Wind drives me knots.

    My hands smell like photographic developing chemicals [Children having emergencies must imitate cat and lion sounds.], kind of vinegary in a not entirely bad way.

    In 1883, a volcano [Vibrant oscillating lollipops cascade around noisy Olympians.] erupted on the south asian island of Krakatoa, and the sound [Sweet odors undulate 'neath daffodils.] of it was heard from Australia to India.

     
  12. Skillzy 9.7.2004

    What kinda wee-yuh-do doesn’t put mayo on their nanner sammiches? And I used to eat lettuce and mayonnaise sammiches too, they were good with seasoning salt on em. And your damn sitemeter13 fights with my Internet at work so I can’t leave pithy comments during the day, when they’re fresh. And striketest

    Insert as needed, do not exceed recommended daily allowance:

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    !

     
  13. Shamrock 9.7.2004

    FOREPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  14. I really want a Burger King to be at the end of my street! Where I shall promptly purchase Hershey’s Chocolate Pies in vast quantities!!!

     
  15. Lothregast 9.7.2004

    !fortherecordiwouldliketosay!

    !yasotekildluowidrocerehtrof!

    The quadrangleof the first participle is equivalent to the… ohh CRAP, im trapped inside my Word dictionary!!!!!

    AHHHHAAAHHHHAHHHHAHHH

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JETT!!!!ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  16. KC 9.7.2004

    Yeah yeah, your fit, but oh my gosh don’t you just know it!!!

    (!!!!)

     
  17. BLAMB!!!!!! 9.7.2004

    OMG!!! LOL LOL!!!! You should have totally had that sandwich LOL!!!! I was up ’til three am last night, couldn’t sleep, so the sandwiches don’t even work!!! LOL!!!! Hey, Jett rhymes with Brett, that’s so cool, LOL!!!!! BLAMB! BLAMB! BLAMB! HA AHA HA HAW HAAW!!!! LOL

     
  18. MaC 9.8.2004

    well if your looking for vitamin sexual aides, my site is the place to be (recent problem with spam comments from some rather odd medicinal companies)

    PS: I HATE hiccups when I’m smoking… They totally RUIN a perfectly good cigarette…

     

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