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Jett Superior laid this on you on || November 17, 2004 || 11:31 pm

In defense of the strong ones.

“Who counsels the counselor,

And who even cares?”

I wrote those lines some time ago; they are a snippet of song lyric that my muse gave me one night in November when I was feeling pretty fucking spent and empty and useless to everyone (not the least of whom was myself).

I want you all to do something. Say ‘oooohhhhmmmm’ and tickle yourself on the inner thigh. I want you to think of someone you know or are acquainted with that makes you think, “Maaaaan, he/she can deal with shit. When bullets whiz past him/her, he/she is standing bold, trying like hell to catch those fuckers between his/her teeth so he’ll/she’ll have something solid to chaw on.”

To clarify: Not necessarily someone with all their junk together, mind you, because a) that person is likely living a lie with everyone else in mind and b) the best heroes are always tragically –almost unapologetically– flawed.

Now I want you to shift the gears lightly and swiftly so that you’re ruminating on this: “How in the world can I be of some relief or help to that person?” Because, you know what? Nobody ever really thinks such things when presented with someone they view as strong. The prevailing sentiment, sadly enough, is that since certain folks can handle shit, they don’t ever need a break from it. They are solid, steady, they have spines of steel and souls on fire and iron wills and laser-shooting eyeballs. Surely to God people with a handle on shit (and laser-shooting eyeballs, yo) don’t need to put it down, right?

Wrong. Everyone needs a reprieve to go wash their hands. And maybe even a luxury moment to fluff their hair.

In defense of the strong ones, they need to be allowed to be weak sometimes. They need to be scooped up to someone’s bosom, cradled and nurtured, for a resting season. That season is likely remarkable in its brevity, but so, so very valuable to them. They shouldn’t have to ask. They shouldn’t be allowed to collapse under the weight of everything and everyone around them without someone noticing, without someone saying, “Hi, I’m here, and while I think you’re way hip and bitchin’, I think I might have something you need, if it’s only a willing ear you can pitch your troubles into for a time.”

You will catch them off guard, these bold, capable ones; you will catch them off guard and you will likely renew them just on sentiment alone. They will go, ‘Holymothero’God,who’dathought??’ and they will be shoving you into their heartspace so fucking fast that you will get a cramp.

Go on, little Muffinasses, shine up your touchstone, whether or not they’ve let on that some polish is needed. Pay attention; look and really see. Go counsel your counselor. Care.

4 worked it out »

  1. Coelecanth 11.18.2004

    That is the most knowing, giving post I’ve read in a long time.

    Strength, like joy, is increased if we share it around. No one is so strong that they can last forever by themselves.

    Jett: you rock in the most fucking Superior way.

  2. Sol 11.21.2004

    Wow. I always love your writing, but this one particularly strikes a chord. I have been trying to say something like this to my family for a long time. Thank you for putting it into such expressive words. I hope you don’t mind that I am linking to it.

  3. Grace 11.30.2004

    AMEN sister!! It ain’t easy walking that path!! And people wonder why ‘’strong” people flip out!

  4. Pandora 12.9.2004

    Longtime lurker, now wiping away tears. Thank you.


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