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Archive for November, 2004

Morning conversation between the Superiors predicated by Maxim’s Having Woken Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed and subsequently being King Crabass for an hour:

JETT: Look, stop trying to Act Generally Nice And Make Me Giggle. I want to leave the house still angry; if I get hit by a gravel truck and Go To Meet My Maker, I want the comfort of knowing, on the other side, that you will feel like shit until you join me. This will be a direct result of the ill-spoken last sentiments you gifted me with.

MAXIM: (muttering): Jett’s last words upon being mowed down by that gravel truck: “Oh shit, I was just kidding“.

JETT: I HEARD THAT! I don’t care, you’ll still be sorry and I’ll still be vindicated.

Okay, I TOTALLY meant to say, “Even excluding dead members.”

Hit it, Run.

I’m a little hoarse. So sue me.

|| November 2, 2004 || 9:10 pm || Comments (7) ||

Eye contact is important, see?

Every now and again in the course of my travels I run upon a kid that makes me want to approach him, bend over (eye contact is important, see?) and whisper hoarsely, “Little kid, if you were my child, I’d totally carry you home right this minute and beat you until your eyeballs bled.”

But then again, if children like this were my kids, they’d never have gotten to the point in the first place where a complete (and pretty rational, where munchkins are concerned) stranger wants to say such a thing to them.

|| November 1, 2004 || 9:30 pm || Comments (4) ||

E’erbody hold your breath and pray.

In the same way that my momma calls New Year’s Eve ‘Amateur Drunk Night’, she has always called election day ‘Amateur Citizen Day’.

I got the cleverest momma in the whole world.