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Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 7, 2004 || 10:33 pm

Home Improvement Madness

Surely to GOD there is a disease by that name. I spent a great deal of time pondering this today; that was after I realized, while using the friendly new Shop-Vac we purchased this weekend (yes, we’ve already sent one to its sucky grave…we are HARD!CORE!), I’d been spending the bulk of the time I’ve used it over the past two days trailing it behind me and talking to it overly-kindly, as if it were a lovable, fat-cheeked toddler.

(You know, like talking to it at all isn’t key-rayzee. Shuh. Work with me here, you hypercritical ayholes.)

I can’t help it. I’m a victim of exceptional product design. It works oh-so-great, and it looks like a cute little tubby robot, to boot!

If you skeptical fuckers don’t believe me, then have a peek at it yourveryownselves.

For the record, I’m holding on to ‘Paint Fume Mania’ as a backup defense. Just in case the Home Improvement Madness dog won’t hunt.

6 worked it out »

  1. Nina 12.7.2004

    Do you tuck it in at night? Keep it by the lawnmower so it won’t get lonely when you aren’t using it? Cuz now THAT would be key-rayzee.

     
  2. mac 12.8.2004

    This is OT, but I think your RSS feed isn’t working. Do you have a valid URL for your feed? Thanks!

     
  3. KC 12.8.2004

    Talking to the shop-vac isn’t that bad. My car, a classic 78 ford mustang (and by classic i mean POS) and i have a VERY dysfunctional relationship. First i talk to her (cause she’s a lady) trying to coax her to shift into gear, if she does then i’m all happy and gumdrops, if not i get more biligerent than a bar full of tequilla drinkers. IT’s sad really…maybe i should just be nicer?

     
  4. Lothregast 12.8.2004

    Only one question madam… have you named it?

    And congratulations on your new domicile by the way. it sounds as if you are having fun….

     
  5. jm 12.9.2004

    Oh, we talk to all of our tools and appliances. It is VERY VERY normal.

    Right?

     
  6. mish 12.15.2004

    Shop vac’s rock! I stole my parents when we redid our bathroom and they still havent noticed 2 years later….

     

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