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Jett Superior laid this on you on || February 3, 2005 || 6:41 am

Peer Acceptance

Okay, when I tell you that Maxim and I have been attending classes to become foster parents, you will probably all be like, “What the fuck?? You Superiors aren’t busy enough?”

Apparently not. And it seems that we’re gluttons for punishment: We already know who our first placement is….drumroll please….A FIFTEEN YEAR-OLD GIRL! While she is sparkling and remarkable and wonderful, she is possessed of those super-rad (not) moments of teenaged mouthiness that yours truly is so very fond of (again with the not). Maxim and I, who have been mentoring her for nigh on a year and have subsequently grown to love her, view this as a vigorous challenge-slash-preparatory move on our parts. If we can keep one really cute teenager from a questionably-moralled family from sneaking out on friday nights and getting impregnated by some hillbilly named Bubba, then surely to God we can manage with the three what was bornt to us.


We have four of the weekly three-hour classes under our belts. Remarkably enough, they’ve proved to be rather fun thus far. On the first night, we played a game and I WAS DA WINNAH! On the second night there were kabobs! On the third night, we role-played various scenarios and I hammed it up so fiercely that many of the other prospective fosters couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard.

Last week’s class found Maxim and me sitting and talking to the team of instructors afterward. Someone of ‘importance’ in the community was mentioned and my marvelous lack of tact and restraint reared its ugly head: Before reining myself in, I pronounced him an asshat in a sort of hissy tone. The two women and one man that hold our fostering future in our hands looked at me, looked at one another….

….and then all fell into great gulping whoops.

“THAT!” the male instructor cried while looking at the brunette of the two ladies, “IS EVEN BETTER THAN YOU CALLING HIM A WORTHLESS DICKSKINNER THE OTHER DAY!”

We are a hit.

17 worked it out »

  1. skillzy 2.3.2005

    You need to work with them on their sailor lingo. Dickskinners are hands. As in “keep your dickskinners out of your pockets, you worthless waste of skin”.

  2. Jett, been a while. My sincerest of apologies. Good to see you ain’t lost The Touch when it comes to writing awesome, being nifty, and loving people so much that you can diferentiate between the Asshats and the Deserving Souls.

  3. CJ 2.4.2005

    Does it not follow, however, that one who often uses his hands for skinning his dick, i.e. regularly participating in the practice of dick skinning would himself, be a dickskinner?

    Food for thought, eh?

  4. Jettomatika 2.4.2005


    I was thinking that and just too damned taxed to type it all out.

  5. Jettomatika 2.4.2005


    I cannot find your adder-ess. Please e-mail. I have unmailed cards and such.


  6. CJ 2.4.2005

    Hey, great minds think alike.

    And apparently, so do twisted ones.


  7. skillzy 2.4.2005

    You people are MUTILATING. THE. LANGUAGE. And Jett, waiting for a good comment and saying “Yeah, me too, I was gonna say that!” is so 1994 Usenet.

  8. jennifer 2.5.2005

    Glad to see the future of our children is in the hands of such creative cursers.

  9. Jettomatika 2.5.2005

    Jennifer, please note that none of said children were in the room.

    Also, don’t come here levelling value judgements at me when you know the square root of fuck-all about me.

    And lastly, since you didn’t leave a link or an e-mail addy (I despise a coward), could I please inquire publicly as to what YOU are doing for the future of our youth, Princess Stickupthebutt?

  10. Jettomatika 2.5.2005


    ….better with me than with Mommy Methwhore.

  11. jennifer 2.6.2005

    she curses for attention

    or brags for validition

    hey! maybe it’s tourette’s

    no, it’s fucked-up Jett

  12. skillzy 2.6.2005

    Dang, I never get any trolls, much less a rhyming one. Jennifer, would you come over to my place sometime and pass some judgement on me please? Surely there’s something about me that you find offensive. Kthx.

  13. blamb 2.6.2005

    Could I be judged in rhyme, too? Please? PLEEEEAASE? I need to be harshly assessed.

  14. Richard D. Bartlett 2.7.2005

    firstly, oh my gosh, i want to kiss ‘jennifer’ on the face

    also, i have blueberry muffins and sunstroke, and i saw dolphins today. In the wild! From a Commuter Bus!

    but the point is, i finally have gained respect for this ‘maxim’ character

  15. Jettomatika 2.7.2005



    Again, so very bold with the not leaving e-mail/site information .

    So far here at Superior Industries, we’ve not had a worthy troll. You’re not even in the running for that yet. BUT, if you want to want to work into the position of ‘official site pain in the ass’, it is indeed available.

    Thing is, you’re gonna have to bring your ‘A’ game around here….and know that I fight bareknuckles.

    I’m one of those idiotic jackasses that, when annoyed enough, WILL step from behind the moniter. So far, you’re one of those idiotic jackasses that derives comfort from ‘anonymity’. Basically, my favorite kind to eat for lunch.

    It’s for you to decide: Do you really want to be the target for any unspent ire I have? You don’t have to suck up and say ’sorry’, but you don’t have to post ever, EVER again, either.

    Have a Superior Day! WOO!

  16. sugarmama 2.7.2005

    Oh, wow! Be proud of yourself, Jett. You are such a good blogger that you have begun to attact one of those MOTHERFUCKING BITCH-FUCKING HATEFUL LITTLE SNOT-ASS BITCH TROLLS who are TOO FUCKING COWARDLY to leave an email address and discuss the issue in a RESPECTFUL manner.

    I love you, sistah Jett.

  17. Jettomatika 2.13.2005

    Sugah brings the love!


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