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Jett Superior laid this on you on || March 30, 2005 || 1:32 pm

My day was a short one, and now I am drinking my lunch.

Dear Social Services job:
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
No, really.
Fondest,
Jett

Today I got to meet two of the most stunningly wonderful-looking little boys. So much so that I thought I might gnaw on their cheeks upon the sight of them. Then I remembered that I have a job because people actually do shit like that, and I reined myself in. I made do with merely beaming like a big ole idiot at them.

They had shocky white-blonde hair and the coolest electric green eyes you’ve ever seen. There was a smattering of pale freckles and blocky, oversized dungarees with hands shoved deep in pockets. Baby-cool. The oldest was five, his little brother (who was three) looked like he’d been sprouted from Five’s bone marrow or some shit. Identical save for six, seven inches in height.

I kneeled to greet them on their level, as is my custom.

“‘Sup, sweet thang?” is how Five greeted me. Oh boy.

Some four hours later, after a visit with gramma had been pounded out, I nestled Three in his carseat for the impending ride.

“Lean back, little guy, so I can get you all buckled in,” I said.

“Suck it, bitch,” was his reply. Yes indeedally-doo, they are both charmers.

5 worked it out »

  1. Nina 3.30.2005

    Oh my…

     
  2. jnel 3.30.2005

    ahahahahaha.

    I got a, “your face looks like cunt” once. That was sweeeeeet.

     
  3. Jettomatika 3.30.2005

    And just how old was YOUR charmer, Jen?

    See, the thing is, people who don’t work in the field canNOT understand why, after I said, “Hey, that’s ugly, and we don’t talk like that to Miss Jett, shmoopykins,” I shut the door, went behind the car and laughed like a woman possessed.

    It’s the whole laugh-or-cry mentality, partly.

    But mostly, a three-year-old kid who looks like an angel but talks like the devil pales in comparison to the four-year-old last month who had a perforated bowel resulting from severe molestation or the 10-month-old from last year gleefully chasing and eating cockroaches (and said critters being the babe’s main source of nutrition).

    I used to be one of those idiots that said, “I seen some SHEEYUT, lemme tell ya.” Well, I sure had, but I’d not seen THE shit.

    Funny thing is, there’s always something tomorrow that will top today. ALWAYS.

    WOO! Go you, J. Nel, and go me!

     
  4. CJ 3.31.2005

    I was once a charmer…. I used to hide in the clothes racks at Walmart, strip down nekkid, and go a-streakin’ trhough the isles.

    I was the li’l nekkid Walmart gnome.

    Meanwhile, these two sound like people I would probably be powerfully attracted to, if they were about 18 years older…

    Which is sad. I’m gonna end up beaing some country song. “I can change ‘im, mama! I can!”

    GeebusLAWD, help me…

     
  5. cal 3.31.2005

    this is why i love you, dear.

     

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