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Jett Superior laid this on you on || March 8, 2005 || 7:04 pm

tha illest

This last month has been very, very challenging for me. I never-ever-ever get sick. When it happens that I do, I rebound quickly and thoroughly. Even when I am horribly, terribly sick, I’m not needy and I’m certainly not a whiner. I simply want to be left alone in a dark place and looked in on, pulse checked, etc. every now and again. Low-key. Not at all demanding. Self-sufficient to the bitter last. I never go to the doctor, preferring instead to handle things naturo- and/or homeopathically. I’ve been on antibiotics a total of maybe eight, nine times in my entire life, which is testament to the success of my personal philosophy (three of those times were routine, pre-surgical rounds of preventive antibiotics). I don’t care much for the docs, as I’ve been witness to a lot of slipshod medicine in my life. Not to mention that hospitals are largely unpleasant places. Even when my children were born, I was chomping at the bit to not let the doors of the place hit me in the ass.

All that having been said, I went to the doctor today. Not only did I go to the doctor…while I was splayed out all over the table (weak beyond belief, so the limbs fell where they would), I cried like an ultra-large tit.

Um, guys? I’m not really big on tears. Especially in public places. But I hurt so bad today that I want to die, really, and tears were a way to vent the yuck and the pain going on in my body at present.

I started getting sick just before Valentine’s Day and it seems I’ve picked up everything under the sun since then. This bothers me, and is worrisome, because (as stated before) I’m not prone to sickness. I think it’s got my husband, bless his heart, in a bit of a tizzy. In the last twenty-four hours, he has said the following to me:

“Sheesh, you must feel shitty. I’ve never seen you whine like this!”
and
“I’m concerned about your being sick all the time. It’s just not like you.”

He’s not being the King Of All Understatement; he simply doesn’t want to appear alarmist. Just like I am a no-whiner, he is a no-panicker. When I’ve reached the point of tears, it’s baaaaad, and when he’s reached the point of voicing concern, he’s freaked out. Rightly so, I guess, because by his reports I was lying in the bed talking crazytalk last night. Delerium is fun for outside observers; not so much for participants.

Out of the last four weeks, I’ve lost approximately two weeks of work. I cannot afford to be sick, but I can’t possibly do my job while sick, as it is both physically and emotionally taxing. Continue to ‘press through’ and work=more sickness and more time out of work. Catch-22’s are so ugly.

Because I’m fully about laying it all out there, I’m going to use this moment right here to be very brutally honest with some of you: You suck as friends. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, as people keep yelling, “THESE ARE INTERNET PEOPLE, THEY AREN’T REAL.” I’m tired of being the person who invests self and emotions only to find that there is no reciprocity. Call me foolish, but I thought friendships, no matter the medium in which they were formed, were made up of a big ole two-way street. I disappear from your life, for whatever reason, and I’d have thought you’d make an effort to reach out and find out why. Or instead of calling at your convenience, you’d call when you know I’d most likely be available. I select friends carefully, but I guess I’ll have to be even more stringent than I’ve been.

Which fully fucking sucks. Maybe I’ll just stick to the IRL people.

To those of you that come here merely as readers, as voyeurs, I appreciate your patience with me in times of little to no content. I know the frustration of clicking through to one of your favorite interwebnet ‘personalities’ and finding either laughable content or stale, half-assed entries. There are so many things going on in my life to write about, but I lack the energy or focus to do so right now because I have been so sick (times of wellness are to play catch-up with familial and work obligations). Ditto for e-mails, which I am pitifully bad at anyway. I’d much rather hear someone’s voice, but I know that this is not plausable or advisable in all situations. I may be stone crazy, but I do have a family to think about and therefore cannot wantonly fling the digits about.

This is all just a really wordy way to request that you all please be patient and don’t give up on me; I’ll be back and swinging just as quick as I can.

Maxim is home now, so I can go collapse back into the cozy nest of comforters scrambled about on my bed (being sick is doubly hard on me, as I’m not a lie in bed kinda gal….massive boredom sets in terribly quickly).

Before I go, I want to post what I originally came here to post. Initially, I wanted to scan it so that you could fully appreciate it, but I am too wiped out for even that; a transcription will have to do.

Late last week, Mathias wrote his first-ever note to somebody. That somebody happened to be me.

I NEED ChANJ FOR THE booK STOR. So I CAN GiT A booK FOR OUR CLASS.

MATHiAsS

I never cease being amazed at their growth, these babies of mine. Holy cow.

15 worked it out »

  1. skillzy 3.9.2005

    *squints*

    *clenches jaw*

    *balls up fist*

    *takes a deep breath*

    I think you’re bein a little hard on us internet peeples. We are at a disadvantage to the RL crowd in that we can’t just bebop by your house and see how you’re doing, or drop off some chicken soup. And since I’m a man, with no intuition, and since I possess limited psychic abilities, I didn’t know you were sick. You didn’t sound sick when you left that message the other day, and I tried to call ya back. And if I HAD known, about the best I could have done would be to send you a care package of PopTarts and Italian porno magazines. OR, I could shoot an e-mail into the vast darkness of your inbox, and wonder if you got it. See, the key to friendships, whether online or IRL, is communication. Whether it’s via e-mail, or telephone, or chatting over cocktails, or instant messages, or blog comments, or staring wistfully into each other’s eyes, you have to communicate.

    You know what you need on here? One of those little mood things. That way we can check to see if you’re sick, or moving, or abducted by moonshiners, or just takin a break.

    I hope you get better soon. And we love you, I promise. So cowboy up and quit all that cryin!

     
  2. Jettomatika 3.9.2005

    see, I knew this would happen, just KNEW it!

    checka da e-mail, punko.

     
  3. skillzy 3.9.2005

    I checka checka, and I senda backa.

     
  4. sugarmama 3.9.2005

    Ouch.

    I knew you had been sick with the flu, but you didn’t tell us the severity or length of your illness. I just figured, it is one of those 24-48 hour things and she’ll be better. You post sporadically when you are healthy, so a break in posting does not automatically cause me to be alarmed. I know you are busy and had figured that you were busy as usual and did not have time to post lately. Just like all the other times in the past when a week or two passed between posts. I CAN’T READ MINDS!! Shit, I can’t even read my own mind. It’s filled with some jumbled up shit.

    So I hope you forgive me and that you feel better soon. I suspect maybe you push yourself so hard to do so many things, and for that, you are totally amazing. But your body sometimes tells you that it needs a break.

    LYLAS,

    sugarmama

     
  5. you’re absolutely right

    some of those other people are absolute shit.

    I of course, being as good as gay, used my powers of intuition and sensitivity and realised that when you posted about dying by broken in half due to skinny dipping, you were crying out for a cuddle and hence I sent you some of the Most Difficult Prose i have ever written, not to impress you, but to attempt to arouse some sort of response (I mean, I’m pretty fucking compelling)

    In conclusion, yes it is well after lunch time, and yes, I am still drunk.

     
  6. Coelecanth 3.9.2005

    Only a cold-hearted asshole could read your site regularly and not hate to hear this.

    I’m with you on the whole Dr. hatin thing, but for some things they’re the only way to go.

    The only rule in these situation is to do whatever yah have to to get well.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

     
  7. redclay 3.10.2005

    oh, honey.

     
  8. Nina 3.10.2005

    *sending more feel better waves your way* get better soon, honey, we do miss you.

    loving that note. they grow up so fast. some days i want a pause button, but then we’d miss out on all the great stuff.

    btw have you tried emergen-C? that stuff is amazing.

     
  9. redclay 3.11.2005

    i been calling you.

     
  10. CNL 3.13.2005

    Ah. I see the light now.

     
  11. Richard D. Bartlett 3.14.2005

    hey E guess what I’m an uncle

    woooooo

    oooo

    woo

     
  12. MaC 3.14.2005

    must’ve been some baaaad taquitos.

    as for the whole not posting thing, I know how you feel, my site was nastily attacked by the world of spam and has not presently recovered.

    Plus the Air Force fired me (Not for anything bad, but because they had too many people, I didn’t think they could do that) I delt with my first job loss rather well, I thought. Only a few bottles of whiskey, and some really sad twangy country music. Lately I’ve been settling into my new home in the DC Air National Guard.

    But, best of luck jett, get better, ’cause I wanna read things that make my brainy bits swoon… And no other place on the net does that for my brainy bits.

     
  13. Joelle 3.19.2005

    Aw, I’m not sure exactly what to say, but I will say that I do hope you’re feeling well soon. I’m so sorry. Take care, doll.

     
  14. RONW 3.25.2005

    Wonderful….that’s just what I needed to cheer me up. Relatively recently I signed up for an audio blogging service called Audioblog.com which is what I’ll pass along to you sweetie. With it you no longer have to type your entries in text or check your grammar but instead sprinkle some spice on your blog with voice. Try it yourself at http://www.audioblog.com/. I haven’t as yet posted anything in voice but will maybe for sure. Anyway this particular service only costs $5.oo/month for practically unlimited bandwidth (a minute of voice uses 200k of memory or bandwidth….equivalent to 60 pages of single-spaced text)….and each post can be up to an hour long. Guess the whole thing’s like voice Email. If you have any inquires contact Eric at http://www.audioblog.com/home/contact.htm. That’s the founder I think. But he or someone else replies the next day to your questions so far that is. I wouldn’t be bum-steering you. Voice-posting (at least on my own tests) is an refreshing experience but get yourself a decent ($25+) microphone with some degree of noise cancellation.

     
  15. skillzy 3.25.2005

    Yeah, Jettster, you should try that audio thingy! That reminds me, this week I’ve been listening music on my computer, and the other night your voice started coming out of my puter! I had mixed in one of your old audio posts with my music so it popped up in the rotation. Freaked me OUT!

    Today I’m gonna have a beer (or ten) and one will be for you, cause today was supposed to be the day we finally had a beer together. DANG IT!!!!!

     

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