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Jett Superior laid this on you on || April 1, 2005 || 1:36 am

Tough times call for extreme measures, champy.

I can’t recall ever, EVER in the history of this blog-thing having announced my birthday to you, humble and delicious Muffinasses.

However, please glance at the title of this entry.

This is an emergency situation: I JUST USED MY VERY LAST LUSH BATH BOMB!

(the one I was hoarding up like a big cheapskate because no fresh ones were materializing on the horizon)

(my last dollop of Dream Cream disappeared just after the first of the year, boo-dee-hoo)

I AM BEYOND BROKE!

IT IS MY BIRTHDAY! (when I was born, they –meaning my cruel, cruel extended fambly– told my father I was a boy. “HAPPY NEW BABY SON, HENRY!” he was understandably startled at my lack of penis and beefy boy hands. “APRIL FOOL’S! SHE’S ACTUALLY A DELICATE LITTLE BLONDE FLOWER OF FUTURE WOMANHOOD, AHHHHAHAHA!”)

I humbly present for your consideration a recently-altered wishlist. I mean, come on, won’t it make you feel great to know that at least one Hellabamian will smell loverly for sure?

pee ess…once upon a forever ago, I was a Menudo fan. Roy Rosello was THE HOTNESS, hear me?? One year, as a birthday gift, my best friend and next door neighbor Michelle made me a pillow case with Roy’s face on it (things like that were expensive back in the day, and Mich was riiiiiich, just so you’re aware of the tony company I kept). You know, so that I could practice kissing him for our inevitable future meeting and smoking romance. Alas, Roy has disappeared, so if any of you can dig him up, he’d be an acceptable substitute for a Lushdotcom gift pack. Just explain to him that I despised the dorky-assed black and red striped muscle shirt that he sometimes was (surely forced into and despised) wearing. You’re a pal. But not as big a pal as Michelle.

6 worked it out »

  1. skillzy 4.1.2005

    Not that I would ever bring up any quid pro quo or anything on your birthday and all, cause you KNOW I’m a giver, I’m all about the GIVING, but any chance of getting some action shots of you with your beauty products? Dream Cream, indeed.

     
  2. Jettomatika 4.1.2005

    Skillz, one day we will meet, my dear, and then I will give you a sympathetic smile and a pat on the head.

    Ply me with enough takillya, however, and I’m liable to show you my ankles.

     
  3. skillzy 4.1.2005

    Well I suppose a real smile and pat is better than the implied ones that women usually give me.

    Don’t forget that my birthday’s not far off, you wouldn’t crush a guy’s hopes and dreams so close to his birthday, wouldya?

     
  4. Nina 4.1.2005

    Hey, happy barfday!

    I’d send ya everything on that wishlist if’n I wasn’t in the same shape!

     
  5. John 4.1.2005

    A belated happy b-day to you!

     
  6. Jettomatika 4.4.2005

    Sanks!

     

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