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Jett Superior laid this on you on || May 22, 2005 || 10:52 am

Wishy-washy

It’s fucking ridiculous, how excited I get over ’shower days’. I’m like a junior high school girl, mooning over her first dance.

I think about the shower all day; no matter what I do to distract myself, my thoughts return to it over and over. I plot exactly the order in which I will do everything:

“Shave, moisturize, wash hair, slap on conditioner…No! Shave, scrub and exfoliate, moisturize, wash hair, slap on conditioner, generally luxuriate under the spray, mmmmm….”

I elaborately plan exactly which products I will use, and when, and in what manner. I start all this nonsense at ten ay emm and keep it up until Maxim comes home –his poor little exhausted caring-for-me self– and I expose my hair-sprouting pits by raising my arms in victory while crying “SHOWWWWWERRRR DAY-AYYYYYY! YEAH!” with a great deal of very genuine enthusiasm.

Holy hell, I sure can’t wait to return to daily, full, wonderfully delicious showers or baths. I’m sick with that shit.

4 worked it out »

  1. dave 5.22.2005

    The irony is that even in your current condition, I do wager that your shower frequency is slightly higher than the average resident of the south.

    I love slamming and defiling an entire region in one smarm-tastic swoop.

     
  2. skillzy 5.23.2005

    As much as I appreciate the whole “imagining you in the shower” fantasy thing, how ya doing otherwise? Getting better every day? Watching Tony Danza?

     
  3. jen 5.23.2005

    that saltzy is a true peach, ain’t he? oy.

    from one bath/shower lover to another – i feel your pain. exfoliate, rinse…make yourself smell like vanilla and bubble gum, whatever it takes to make you feel better.

     
  4. Gina 5.24.2005

    I remember when I broke my foot and was in a cast up to my knee how difficult it was to shower, but how much I looked forward to it, since i couldn’t do it as often as I usually did…

    I’m so sorry to hear about your accident, and wish you a quick recovery. At 28 I’ve had way too much experience with serious medical injuries/pain meds/therapy/etc, and it’s definitely not fun. I really hope what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, because soon I will be Arnold Swartzenegger dammit & so will you! :)

    Take care, and I’m really enjoying your blog!

     

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