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Jett Superior laid this on you on || August 30, 2005 || 11:56 am

They don’t make coathangers like they used to.

Preface: Apparently, the proper pronunciation for hurricane in Hellabamian is ‘hurra-kin’. You have to make the ‘kin’ jab sharp and fast, though. /Preface

A couple of days ago, I sent Piper out to rake the yard and Scout was assigned the task of sweeping the drive and the concrete pad around the mailbox. They didn’t even bitch, which will make me feel terrible while enlisting their help in cleanup efforts.

We got off easy this time; it just looks like a few dozen trees either

ay) exploded or
bee) went on a big bender and barfed all their extrees

all over our yard. Nay, our street. There is a literal carpet of branches and fresh greenery everywhere the eye turns. The extent of the damage to us personally was a night of horrible sleep, as the humidity was stifling and random doohickeys and things not nailed down hit our roof all night. Remind me to kiss the roofers, because on first inspection this morning Maxim and I noticed nothing amiss.

Some of you more southerly folks, drop me a line and check in. I called a couple of people already, but I’m not in phone contact with all you yayhoos and I’m especially concerned for this one, as he was in the middle of all the action.

Thanks for all the calls and e-mails. There have been sirens blaring in the distance for some twelve hours as various emergencies are tended to, an eight-hour power outage and the children went to school a couple hours later, so we’ve hardly been even inconvenienced. We here at the Muffinass Mansion are all very alright. So alright, in fact, that I discussed with Maxim loading up the Magic Stealth Vehicle with bottled water and carting it down to the coast, or over to Nawlins, who face a long season what with the levee breaking and all. The weather carnage was so close, and I will feel like a real asshole if I just sit here and do nothing. I may call a couple retailers here in a bit and if they happen to agree to load up the ole mode of transport, then I’ll for sure do it.

Can I just remind you folks right now how very proud I am to be of the Southerin Persuasion? This morning, over and over in news reports about the horrible state of things (closest complete wipeout was only an hour and a half away in Florence), national correspondents kept saying that “Alabama feels fortunate to have such a low casualty rate, and is hurrying to get on its feet in order to offer assistance to harder-hit Mississippi and Louisiana.” Hot damn, I love the spirit that the South embodies. And, as always, I’m thankful for the many blessings that I’m gifted with daily.

I know the title has nothing to do with the fucking entry; it was just the first thing that popped into my head this morning, quickly followed by the sick-bastard thought that they could NEVER remake ‘Mommy Dearest’ nowadays, because the pitifulness of the modern hanger would fuck it all up. Then I giggled and went in search of orange juice, the end.

1 worked it out »

  1. jen 9.1.2005

    i thought about you tonight as i listened to the good governor of midoublesidoublesidoublepi barbour speak again on cnn – the way he says ‘hurrikin’ somehow makes me feel like i’ve been sitting on the porch listening to my pappaw, tellin’ tales of great storms of their past….

    anyhoo, i’m glad to hear you and yours made it through the storm okay…and like you, i feel the strong need to do more. and more, and more.


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