My sweet merciful bobby haysoos, I hate myself thoroughly (AND I’m ashamed).
Look, I SET UP A MYSPACE PROFILE, okay? OKAY??
If you have one you should totally send me an invite and I’ll friend you or whatever it is we MySpace fuckers do.
(This morning when I left the gym, my boobs smelled like vinegar. VINEGAR, YOU MUFFINASSEDLY PEOPLE. What? I think it may be related to the MySpace thing.)
I’m off to groom myself and face the day. By ‘face the day’ I mean buy a stash of baby Snickers®, hide them in my desk drawer and gorge on them all day because this month’s period is FIERCE. I have acne and everything; this is not cool, because I didn’t even have acne in HIGH SCHOOL, for hellsakes.
How’s your day, spiffy? Everybody drop in and at least sneeze. Let’s do the olden-days thing and comment pithily and with great aplomb, bouncing clever sarcastic rejoinders off of one another’s asses like we are the best thing going in this new thing called blogging.
Love you, MEAN IT!
7 worked it out »