A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || October 9, 2006 || 6:07 pm

The new style, in three blessings or more.

So there’s this guy; he comes into the office on a regular basis.

This man is large and ungainly and at least one article of clothing will have a hole in it, guaranteed. He is, for all intents and purposes, mostly physically unattractive, despite his six-five stature. It’s strange, because he comes from a family of wicked-goodlookin’ folk.

However, he is fabulous in a way that’s unrivaled in these here parts. The whole staff loves when he comes by, because he’s just such a damned hoot, and smart, myyyy-oh-myyyy is that d00d smart. Whip-smart, as it were: He’s very erudite and his mind wraps all this intelligence in a wry sort of cynical and self-deprecating humor. Maybe you’re lucky enough to know one of these and grok of what I speaketh.

One time he described me as esoteric, which absolutely could be construed as a sly insult, I know. However, the way he cocked one eyebrow and looked across the bridge of his nose at me conveyed an intrigue that said otherwise. Go me. After that remark, he loaned me his copy of ‘Heterophobia : Sexual Harassment and the Future of Feminism’ and wanted my thoughts on it upon its return. My thoughts, in case you wondered, are that it’s about time that an avowed feminist called bullshit on her jackbooted cohorts, but that is another discussion for another time and place.

I learn something from this man every time we come into contact. That is terrific beyond all words, let me tell you. Gets my blood to crankin’, a healthy exhange of ideas holding hands with fifty-dollah words. He tends to learn things from me, as well…and this is in spite of a near-twenty year age difference. Take it from yours truly: Cultivate friendships in all age brackets. I’ve done this as long as I can remember, and I never grow tired of (or come up unfulfilled by) it.

So he has this wife, see? And she is from Colombia, and she is exactly my age. He is always telling these wonderful tales about her, what a handful she is, how she keeps up with him, so on and so forth.

The other day he brought Colombian Honey in and, hoowee-eeeee, this woman was so damned gorgeous that I briefly considered swapping teams. But then I remembered that I like massively broad shoulders and manly hands and Persons Sporting A Penis, so I abandoned the notion altogether. But this woman, she was all cafe au lait skin and pale green eyes and long ginger hair and your jaw has a propensity to twitch and take on a mind of its own –going all slack– around her. It is what it is, folkses.

While they were in, I sneezed. I have this thing I do where I sneeze exactly twice. Drove my ex-husband crazy in a weird sort of way, because he has OCD and just got all hung up on the notion of a solitary sneeze or maybe a threefer and whyohwhydoyoualwaysdeuceit??? I sneezed twice; the Big Guy hollered ‘Salud!’ after sneeze one and ‘Denir!’ after sneeze two. Then he ambled up to my desk, leaned across it and explained.

“In Colombia, where my lovely wife is from, they have a custom.

“When you sneeze once, it’s ’salud’. When you sneeze a second, it’s ‘denir’. If you go a third, it’s ‘amor’.”

“Shut uuuup!” I crowed, “You get three blessings instead of one old boring ‘bless you!’ Health, money, love; three things we aaaall could use in abundance!

“I’m employing that from now on. That is terrific.”

pee ess…the interwebnets has brought my attention to all sorts of strangeness. First there was necrophiliac clown pr0n, now this!

3 worked it out »

  1. skillzy 10.10.2006

    So this guy can have Cuervo Gold and fine Columbian WHENEVER HE WANTS! I must look into this…

  2. GJOE 10.10.2006

    I used to work with a fine crop of illegal immigrants (I love illegal immigrants. They ought to legalize the whole bunch of them). When someone sneezed, they liked to holler “SANCHO!” instead of the customary “SALUD!” When I asked exactly what that meant, they explained that instead of wishing someone “HEALTH”, they were announcing “I’M SLEEPING WITH YOUR WIFE.”

  3. Jettomatika 10.10.2006



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