A Random Image

Jett Superior laid this on you on || November 21, 2006 || 9:43 pm

Sometimes I am silly and screechy.

It’s ridiculous to call the microwave “That Fucking….(wild finger pointing)THING!” when it’s only just being a microwave.

Ridiculous, but sometimes quite necessary.

Maxim gets silly and screechy too:

We are refinancing the ole homestead; the huge and intimidating oversized FedEx envelope came from the mortgage company today. Scout was fascinated with it; she kept picking it up off the desk and fondling it, sensing all sorts of magic inside.

“Discount points? Discount points?? Look, don’t call it a discount when there are thousands in fees involved. Oh look, here is the ‘let me step on your dick fee’…and right here? The great ‘I can take your money or I can fuck your momma fee.’

“And then, this is the oh-shit page….

“Amortization Schedule translated means ‘You’re Screwed Schedule’.

“My head hurts.

“Well baby, I have a number attached to my name now; I have a Net Worth.”

“Are you excited?” I asked brightly.

“Not really, and you may not want to be my woman anymore once you see it in writing.”

Yeah, Maxim, because you were so wealthy when I married you lo those near-nine years ago. I had to remind him that it was all I could do to encourage him to detach his ass from the couch and his paws from the bizzong every now and again.

His parting salvo? He waved the massive envelope at me and announced, “You can’t talk to me that way, I’M GROWWWWN.”

Nobody worked it out »

Don´t be shy. Lay it on me.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

(you know you want to)