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Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 16, 2006 || 12:06 pm

MOTHERBITCHER!

See that title? That is me cleverly pretending –by way of frustrated creative profanity– that I don’t like meme-sorts of things. In all truth, I find memes to be something akin to valium: Perfectly socially acceptable when gobbled in tasteful, well-manicured moderation.

So this one over here tagged, and I will respond in typical Pavlovian fashion.

I am instructed to list six little known oddities about myself. I really think this one is going to be tough, because I am under the solid impression that, in my seven-eight years out here in Cyberia, I’ve told you delightful band of hooligans just about every neurotic and embarrassing factoid about myself.

(I will tell you at the outset of this endeavor that I’m reserving the right to just randomly make shit up if I run up on a brick wall.)

1. I am far more grossed out by the notion of washing my hands in a public restroom than I am by the notion of actually using said public restroom. Think about it….all those random nasties have put their hands in or around certain spaces and then go touch the sinks, faucets, et al. In other words,

Dear Public Places,
There are these nifty things called automatic faucets and towel dispensers. Kindly join the rest of us in the twenty-first century.
Germfree-type lovins,
Jett “Standing Solid In My Weirdness” Superior

2. I say ‘liberry’. Suck it. “liiiiiiggggghhhhhberrrrrry

3. I simply cannot bring myself to change out my contacts according to the requisite two-week schedule. They stay in for weeks at a time, helped along with the sheer force of my will and some rewet drops every now and again.

4. Were there an ample supply of summer-ripe tomatoes year-round, I could eat a tomato sandwich (on wheat, light dusting of mayo) every damn day of said year.

5. As much as I joke about it, sometimes I entertain the notion that I might really need to be medicated. Like, several times a day. I admire people who take steps to fix themselves, who struggle to do the right and good thing at least eighty-six-point-three percent of the time. The main reason I don’t get a professional opinion on this? I like my edge. My crazy is more than just a little bit fun for me. I don’t want to drown my funny, my creativity, my *zing!* in a wash of pharmaceutical faux-content. Maybe I’ve got it wrong on this one, but it is working for me at present. Maybe I’m not even as loony by half as I would imagine myself to be. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

6. Do not do the following in my presence, because it will provoke a less-than-stellar reaction from yours truly: hock a loogie, spit your toothpaste foam, clip your nails.

I’ll not tag anyone else, but I will ask you people to let me know if you post your own. I’ll also ask you to put one factoid of your own in the commentses. Now, off to do the Christmas baking! FA LA LA LA Laaah, LA LA La LAAAAAAAAhhhh.

4 worked it out »

  1. Shamrock 12.16.2006

    She got me too; my oddities are on my site. Including that I hate the color orange. It disturbs me.

     
  2. Jettomatika 12.16.2006

    Shut UUUUUP! I cannot believe that! One of my most very favorite colors is ointch.

    This makes me so very sad, as it does not bode well for me and you. You know, THE me and you.

     
  3. Shamrock 12.17.2006

    Nah. I don’t expect it will be a problem for us. I’ve realized I am maybe the only one in the world with this oddity, and Halloween was such a problem (with the pumpkins and foliage and all) that I am seeking help to overcome the problem. It’s just been hard finding a counselor experienced with this phenomenon.

     
  4. Richard D. Bartlett 12.17.2006

    When I was young the absolute depth of depravity I could imagine was to urinate directly onto tissue.

    [If I could explain it, it wouldn't really be an oddity, now would it?]

     

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