I R Smert (or, ‘Go-ooooh, ME!’)
What I did just now: Pulled car keys from front pocket of scrubs. Pulled house keys from (deliciously cute, new little barrel) purse. Aimed car keys at doorknob on house. Hit the unlock button not once, not twice, but three times in attempt to unlock side door of Superior domicile.
Mocked self loudly and hit self in the head.
The only part of this that was a lie was the ‘hit self in head’ bit. My hands were full (OF KEYS!, how quaint) and thus I was prevented from doing so. I charge ever onward in pursuit of victory!