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Jett Superior laid this on you on || April 1, 2007 || 10:37 pm

Three conversations about one thing: A Fool am I.

About two weeks ago:

PIPER: Momma, what do you want for your birthday?

JETT: A million dollars IN A BROWN PAPER SACK!!

PIPER: Awww. I don’t have a brown paper sack.

(um, baDUMpum)

About a week ago:

Richard:

oh speaking of sending things

i have a pre-emptive apology to make

for your (super-awesome) birthday gift arriving late

me:

i alrEADY HATE YOU

oh wait.

Richard:

it’s coming from a boutique that is very infrequently open

me:

I meant I AM ALREADY EXCITED@

Richard:

and even less frequently open during hours of my availability

me:

as in w00t all the waaaay!

is it a flower vase of artistically arranged dildoes?

a dingo-skin pouch?

No~

I know!

Richard:

no it is a piece of fabric from siberia

illustrated with a jungle of erections

me:

A ticket for a guided trip through a posh new gulag

HOW KIND OF YOU!

Richard:

the reason I’m apologising now is

me:

you suck in the most delightful way?

Richard:

if you wanted to drop hints about some sort of easier-to-obtain and hence less awesome but still arriving-on-time place-holding gift, now would be the time to do it

me:

I would say “Oh, Rich, your fond affections and deep friendship totally fill the bill.”

and that would not be untrue, but man do I love some DOSH.

Richard:

big wad of cash it is

me:

YAAAAY

Richard:

non-sequential serial numbers and everything

me:

BIGGER YAAAAY

carefully-encoded ones?

with a secret language

Richard:

while we’re making shit up, yeah, why not

me:

wait, you can’t possibly promise me green things and not deliver. that’s like getting your hand in my pants and then saying

“I just remembered. Not really hetero.”

Friday afternoon::

Tessa called me.

TESS: HEY! Whatcher doin’?

JETT: I JUST GOT THROUGH PEEING. What you’re doingk?

TESS: I AM CALLING TO ASK A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION.
(me and Tess, we are excitable when we get together and go a mock-yelly at random points in the conversation. for this, we aren’t especially sorry)

JETT: ASK AWAY, MY DEAR.

TESS: Okay. Do you want your birthday present today, or actually on your birthday?

JETT: Um, what do you think?

TESS: Wellll, what would you like me to do?

JETT: What do you want to do??

TESS: I TOTALLY WANT TO BRING IT OVER RIIIIGHT! NOWWWW!

JETT: DO-it-DO-it-DOOOO-it!

TESS: GREAT! I’ll be there after I walk Ezekiel (ed. note: her dog). Get ready, ‘cos it’s a BIG OLE BAG OF MAGIC!

JETT: AND WHO DOESN’T NEED A BIG OLE BAG OF MAGIC FOR THEIR THIRTY-SIXTH BIRTHDAY?? WHO, I ask you?

Yesterday I pulled a largish envelope from my mailbox; in it was a picture of the Mississippi River, taken from my favorite levee around where Mississippi, Arkansas and Tennessee meet and make friends. My mother had written this on the back of it:

Sweet one, treat each day as a birthday present from the Lord that gave us the greatest gift of all and you can be the happiest person on this earth.

Much from the two that love you, Mom & Dad

Above what she’d written were two dates, April 1, 1971 and April 1, 2007. These were encircled in a wreath of flowers she’d drawn and smudged with the hint of my favorite colors.

What I believe she’s telling me in her own Gwendolyn language is that I’ve come full circle as a person, and I choose to receive and embrace her sentiment.

Tonight I bought myself new silk lounge pants and a German chocolate cake. I’m sitting here in those new pants, legs crossed lotus-style and slowly enjoying a hunk of richness one bite at a time.

6 worked it out »

  1. skillzy 4.1.2007

    Happy Birfday To You

    Happy Birfday To You

    Happy Birfday

    Let’s Go Crazy

    Happy Birfday

    TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    YOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

    And many more…

     
  2. c 4.1.2007

    i would sing too, but since I already toasted to you this morning, it would be redundant.

    cheers (again)

     
  3. melly 4.1.2007

    Happy Birthday, you hooker! I love you.

     
  4. c 4.3.2007

    she said hooker

     
  5. sara 4.5.2007

    my fellow fiery ram! happy birthday to you! i didn’t know you were an aries, but the fact that i always come back to check in on you here…well it just makes sense now.

     
  6. Jettomatika 4.12.2007

    I am rude. I keep forgetting to thank you all.

    Melly, I miss you. Something feels off-kilter when you ain’t around.

    Thank you all.

     

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