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What Tess Just Said

Jett Superior laid this on you on || September 20, 2007 || 9:22 am

What Tess Just Said

“Iunno, if I were a stripper, I would peel that pole to Willie Nelson or probably Ryan Adams*.”

…whereupon I began shoutsinging Come Pick Me Up in the key of A, because I really like A.

Because he is one of my favorite songwriters and because the Alabama Theater is one of my favorite venues, I’m going to the show next month. They are very camera-friendly, so I’m jazzed about that business.

* WHO IS TOTALLY MY BOYFRIEND AND THE FATHER OF MY UNBORN MUSICAL-GENIUS BABIES (Only, he’d have to wear a paper bag because I don’t find him all that attractive, really. And he’d have to not speak, except for dirty bedroom mutterings, but he might even ass that all up; so in essence the only things he’d really be allowed to do would be to fuck and sing.).

17 worked it out »

  1. Suzanne 9.21.2007

    Now that’s an interesting survey: If you were a stripper, what would your song be?

    I should think about that… you never know when a side job would be needed!

     
  2. Jettomatika 9.21.2007

    Easy-speasy: Stranglehold by the Nuge. Never has a song begged for bumped-and-ground nekkid bits more.

     
  3. c 9.21.2007

    Even though Ted is a kook, I have to agree that song and wayward vagina were destined to find each other amongst sweaty, crinkled cash and spilled champagne.

    btw, wtf *did* happen in the ATL? I heard it was luscious.

    pee ess. they shot laser beams in my eyes and i smelled burning flesh… how fucking rockstar is that? I can see though… I’m gonna blog it when I’m allowed to look at a computer for more than a few minutes at a time, but you can call me if you want details before hand. I’m making ass prints in my couch this weekend.

     
  4. Daniel B. McClelland 9.25.2007

    Ryan Adams… man. No-one, ever, should be allowed to write and release four albums in one year. It’s just silly. I wish you could slap him around a bit Jett, talk some sense into the paper-bag-wearing boy

     
  5. Jettomatika 9.25.2007

    Daniel, you are a jealous boy. I should poke you in the eye for your heresy, but I just love you too very much.

    So I will get over it, and should you prove yourself worthy, I could proclaim *you* the next father of my unborn musical-genius babies.

     
  6. skillzy 9.25.2007

    Musical geniuses. Pfft. They don’t have good swimmers anyway. As evidence I present the shortage of musical geniuses, and the surplus of K-Fed babies.

     
  7. Daniel B. McClelland 9.25.2007

    Skillzy, well spake.

     
  8. Jettomatika 9.25.2007

    NEVVVVVER CONGRATULATE SKILLZY.

    It does strange things to him, That Praise Stuff.

     
  9. Daniel B. McClelland 9.25.2007

    Sorry skillz. I take it back. No congrats at all.

    (I’m under orders to say this. Sorry dude. Don’t tell Jett)

     
  10. skillzy 9.26.2007

    YES! I AM THE DAMN MAN! WOOOO! GO ME, GO ME!

     
  11. Jettomatika 9.26.2007

    suuuuch a fucking narcissist

     
  12. skillzy 9.26.2007

    just becuz you believe you are the center of the universe that doesn’t mean you are a narciswhateverusaid

     
  13. Jettomatika 9.26.2007

    overuse of italics is a dangerous, dangerous thing

     
  14. Jettomatika 9.26.2007

    Let’s be bold.

     
  15. skillzy 9.27.2007

    yeah you want me to write bold so you can point and say, look the narsississt is writing bold to draw attentions to hisself!

     
  16. Jettomatika 9.27.2007

    You spelt narcissist wrong.

    Looky there at my l33t underlining sk1llz0rses!

     
  17. redclay 10.16.2007

    you say narlasasism like it’s a bad thing.

    as pope boniface said, “it ain’t braggin if you can do it.”

     

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