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Jett Superior laid this on you on || December 25, 2007 || 2:45 am

“Don’t go back to Herod’s throne…”

grace delivered
:: grace delivered ::

It’s two-forty-five ay emm on Christmas morning. The packages are all arted up and under the tree, the champagne is out on the breezeway chilling, the children are all piled up in Mathias’ room as per Scout’s adamant tradition.

I’m sitting here nibbling on cookies that I’m washing down with milk (oh, the burdens of being Santa) and listening to a playlist I’ve tagged ‘Altmas’.

I’ve been rather strange this holiday season. A handful of times I’ve caught myself nearly slipping into the Christmas Malaise that so many people seem to lay claim to nowadays. Just before succumbing to being a Grinchy fuck, however, I’d hitch up my britches and remember just how much I love Christmas and why it is important. Overall, I’ve just not been myself this season, startled to find a snide voice in my head or an internal whining begin to well up when this or that holiday-related matter comes up.

It’s pretty typical of me, I will admit, to begin shrieking on my insides long about December 23rd, “I SIMPLY REFUSE TO PUT ON ONE MORE SET OF HEELS OR DRINK ONE MORE COCKTAIL TO CELEBRATE CHRISSSSTMAAAAAS.” Seriously, one year I’m gonna pitch an open house –when we finish remodeling this joint– where everyone is actively encouraged to wear silly hats, their most comfy sneakers; they will also be encouraged to drink the low-rent bubbly from a large metal cask with a tap (while I, ever the good hostess, prime the pump). Or hell, fine wine straight from the bottle. There would be exuberant cries of “God bless us, every ONE!” to be sure.

The round of cocktail parties and gatherings almost always have me sick of socializing, so that in itself is not such a strange thing. The lack of enthusiasm which I’ve exhibited overall….well, that’s pretty odd. I’ve done a good job of showing otherwise, I think. I hope.

I hope that, because this morning I received a phone call earlyearlyearly. I usually keep my mobile in a part of the house nowhere near where I sleep. Mathias heard it this morning and sped it into me, so I was beholden to take the call. After I hung up I was too lazy to remove my stretched-out and warm-wrapped limbs from the ecstasy that is my bed, so I shoved the phone over onto Maxim’s already-empty pillow.

Given its close proximity to my head, naturally it woke me some two hours later with a text notification. Turns out it was my friend Sanders, and all the message said was this:

merry christmas, girl.
i love you.

And that set the tone for the day. The rest of the day, all day, I got stuff along the same lines, and there were lots of mentions of love.

This set me to thinking, and I recall how many e-mails and letters and messages and calls I’ve gotten this week. I have friends of all ages, all over the blessed planet, and most all of them were compelled to tell me ‘I love you’. That crazy Bonzai, she left me a voicemail just the other night and said that to me three times in the space of that twenty-eight second recording.

I don’t reckon I’ve ever sat and asked God to just send me someone that loves me. Partly because that is not who I am and partly because I’ve gotten heaps of love thus far in my lifetime. And you know what else? I don’t suppose I’ve ever had occasion to guess at whether or not someone gifting me with those iloveyou words actually means them.

My life is an amazing, amazing thing. I have many people to thank for that, and I guess I’d like you all to know: I am grateful, my God am I grateful and I don’t ever want to take this abundance for granted.

Thank you, all you fools who have taken the time to get to know me or reach out to me or love me, thank you so much and Merry Christmas from me and the rest of the Superior Lunatics to you and yours.

lucky girl
:: lucky girl ::

3 worked it out »

  1. brynne 12.29.2007

    Merry late Christmas and Happy early New Year… hope it’s a good one for you. It’s been good so far for me.

    Nice choice of music, btw.

     
  2. Jettomatika 12.30.2007

    Murr Krumma, Brynne. How are you feeling?

     
  3. brynne 12.30.2007

    Feeling good! 19 weeks and feeling pretty normal still. I had a few weeks of the sicky early on but it has subsided. Baby has been kicking a bit.. weird but so cool.

     

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