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Archive for January, 2008

|| January 31, 2008 || 5:52 pm || Comments (3) ||

she blathers

The urge to get utterly annihilated and sit down to pour all the words and characters stored up in my heart has been very, very strong lately. Unfortunately, I never seem to be long on time as of recent.

So to kinda tell you a little about where I’m at in just this instant (mercurial hostess, remember?), I will just let you in on the secret that I’m slightly in love with approximately one boy and one girl.

I should also confess that I am completely dorked on this business, most especially and deliciously the anatomy section (new band name, w00t: The Synovial Joint). Here is where I tell you that Tess and I have a bar game in which one of us shouts a body part and the other has to both locate it in realtime on an unsuspecting stranger and then spell it correctly. Omission of either step results in the Health Care Professional in question being required to buy the next round. It’s won us some new friends and free drinks. You should try it: Go up to a complete stranger and ask, “Pardon, can I use you to illustrate both the origin and the insertion of the longest muscle in the human body? It will cost me a fiver iffin I don’t.” Smile charmingly, oh beautiful Muffinass, and don’t forget to put a good dollop of Genuine behind it, okay?

Yesterday at the gym I was running short on time as a result of two late-arriving and long-staying patients who all but shredded my two-hour lunch, so I didn’t feel particularly pressed to lock up my gym bag. Shit, I went a full YEAR without doing so before starting the practice and nothing negative ever happened as a result. HOWEVER, I am now down one vial of one of my favorite discontinued colognes, so if any of you have a line on some ‘Sheer Rain’ by BeautiControl, there may be a little finder’s fee in it for you. FUCKING THIEVES. WHY DON’T WE CHOP OFF HANDS HERE IN THE U.S.? Makes me –kinda– want to use the Lord’s name in vain. Sorry, God.

I have separated myself from my church. In a minute I will remember that I’m a Christian and we’re supposed to practice that ‘love’ and ‘longsuffering’ bit, with a generous dollop of teh big ess, ‘Spirituality’. When that moment comes I guess I’ll be compelled to go back. I sort of stomped my foot and yelled “FUCK!” really loud in the middle of the sanctuary before departing. It was great; y’all should have seen it.

There appears to be much travel in the cards for me here soon. Surely drunken words will pour forth from me in abundance then. Hang tight, folks.

|| January 29, 2008 || 12:04 pm || Comments (1) ||

learning something new every day, y’all.

This weekend while driving two towns over to the best bakery ever in order to procure a birthday cake (rectangular. vanilla. pastel polkydarts.) for Lili,

(Happy Birthday, LILI!)

I saw a big ole red pickup truck with a sticker on the rear window glass. That sticker said, “Bow Hunters: Silent But Violent”.

And here I was thinking that phrase only applied to farts.

|| January 24, 2008 || 12:59 pm || Comments (2) ||

Meme shit

1. I’ve come to realize that my ex is: probably my largest error in judgement of all time….INCLUDING MY RAGING DRUG HABIT OF YESTERYEAR

2. I am listening to: Tess eating a pickle, backed by the Little River Band

3. I talk: to be heard

4. I love : my family. To the ends of all being.

5. I have: good intentions

7. I lost: all sense of propriety, pretty much

8. I hate it when: people are whiny bitches

9. Love is: very prevalent in my life. I’m damn lucky in this arena.

10. Marriage is: fulfilling this time around.

11. Somewhere: is where I’m always wishing to be

12. I’ll always be: restless, probably

13. I have a crush on: just about everyone I know for various reasons

14. The last time I cried was: last week.

15. My cell phone is: sufficient unto the task

16. When I woke up this morning: I wanted to sleep for like four more hours.

17. Before I go to sleep at night I: wish a specific someone peace and wellness

18. Right now I am thinking about: LUNCH

19: Babies are: scrumptious

20. I get on myspace: under extreme duress

21. Today I: wish I were anywhere but the office

22. Tonight I will: cook dinner, do laundry, get laid

23. Tomorrow I will: gym, office, try to change the world for the better in subtle ways (no lie)

24. I really want to: get the hell out of Dodge

25. The person who’s most likely to repost this: my people all loathe this meme shit

J00 can copy, paste and plug your answers in down there in the comments. Just pick one or a handful if you’ve not the gumption to answer them alls.

|| January 23, 2008 || 4:56 pm || Comments (0) ||

He’s a keeper because he can keep up.

JETT: Hey, did you know that Sir Edmund Hillary died?

MAXIM: Isn’t he the guy that’s famous for being the first person

JETT: …yeah…

MAXIM: in the history of Ever to win an argument with you?

JETT: I hate you.

JETT: In your guts.

|| January 21, 2008 || 9:56 pm || Comments (3) ||


Sometimes I’m a music snob, and sometimes I’m a music purist; at times the two shake hands firmly. One of the arenas where this happens most is in the case of cover songs. About seventy percent of the time I will wail, “Why, oh WHYYYY did they do that?” about a given cover, because many of them are poorly done or lack a special spin that made covering the song worthwhile.

Every now and again, though, I’ll run across one that is just so spot-on and so dings my bell that I can’t not listen to it over and over. This is the case with Hot Chip’s (very bloody awesome) spin on Sexual Healing by the unfortunately deceased but forever smoooooth Marvin Gaye. This version first ran across my ears at three in the morning on a whirlwind road trip; I was predisposed to be annoyed by it but its yumminess kept creeping up on me slyly. By the end, the track’s fractal quality interwoven with bleeps and solid beat (not to mention the clean simplicity of earnestly-delivered vocals) had cemented it solidly in the That Wot I Like A Great Deal column.

You can find the empeethree –along with several other Hot Chip offerings– in a quick-read review over at kissatlanta.com. Listen and love.

Other exceptional covers:

Erasure’s A Little Respect as done by Wheatus

Guided By Voices’ Smothered In Hugs as done by Local H

Cat Stevens’ How Can I Tell You as done by Liz Durrett

Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Simple Man as done by the Deftones

Frank Sinatra’s If You Go Away as done by Emiliana Torrini

Bob Dylan’s A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall as done by Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians

You should go dig all of them up….and if you are so inclined, you can drop your own favorite covers in the comments section.

Actual excerpt from an exceptionally lengthy bout of praying out loud while lying in bed last night.

Maxim is on a business trip. I don’t envy him, because –and maybe I’ve strenuously explained this here before?– I fucking haaaate California. Yes, even the ‘good’ parts. I love my man, I love the way he wraps himself around me during the night, I love how gorgeous he looks when he sleeps, I love that I can pounce on him at three ay em and he will readily respond.

All that said, I think it’s pretty great when he is gone because I get the whole damn bed to myself. The whole thing! To myself! And I sleep crazy-well in light of that fact.

I will also say my prayers aloud, conversationally, when Maxim is away. When my lips are pressed into service praying, I get more focused and intent on the whole deal. It is often a struggle for me to retain focus when speaking to God in my head because, really, there is a metric ton of shit going on up there, and it’s all jockeying for front and center. Involvement is just so much more effortless when I am putting sound to the syllables. Sometimes so much so that I just go with the flow and don’t even have to consciously guide or even regard what I’m saying to the Almighty.

Something snagged my consciousness last night, though, and I ended up falling asleep laughing because I really am just a little kid and kind of a dipshit:

“…Father, if this is Your will, then please send me confirmation.

“And a kickboxing instructor. A kickboxing instructor would be so, so rad, God.”


Snippet from a catch-up email, because it made me cry.

(but only just a little, because my tears are made of powerful stuffs like battery acid and such)

“I’ve been up and down. Mostly in a positive direction, though, so that is good. Lessee, I died in ‘05 (only for a minute, though, thank god for ridiculously sexy EMTs), and have spent the last two years finding out just who I am and how much I like that person. It’s been good. As it turns out a brush with the great beyond gives you a good deal of sharp, unmitigated focus, when the universe decides that your stay in the mortal coil isn’t did, yet.

“So, I changed my major (psych…gonna be a sex therapist), and am loving it. The last two years really just has been about me running around in my head working out my shit. I’m a strong advocate of the fearless and searching self-inventory, and I’ve really done a lot of growing the fuck up in that process.

“Even enough to share real emotions with another person in a guileless, unadulterated way that leads to very Notebook-esque statments about the nature of our feelings, but which does not leave me with a sense of angst at the ridiculousness of it all.”

Oh my friend, thank you. You don’t know how very much I needed to hear these things from someone, anyone (and what delight that it was YOU!) that particular night. You’n'me, we’s gonna be just fiiiine. <3