she blathers

The urge to get utterly annihilated and sit down to pour all the words and characters stored up in my heart has been very, very strong lately. Unfortunately, I never seem to be long on time as of recent.

So to kinda tell you a little about where I’m at in just this instant (mercurial hostess, remember?), I will just let you in on the secret that I’m slightly in love with approximately one boy and one girl.

I should also confess that I am completely dorked on this business, most especially and deliciously the anatomy section (new band name, w00t: The Synovial Joint). Here is where I tell you that Tess and I have a bar game in which one of us shouts a body part and the other has to both locate it in realtime on an unsuspecting stranger and then spell it correctly. Omission of either step results in the Health Care Professional in question being required to buy the next round. It’s won us some new friends and free drinks. You should try it: Go up to a complete stranger and ask, “Pardon, can I use you to illustrate both the origin and the insertion of the longest muscle in the human body? It will cost me a fiver iffin I don’t.” Smile charmingly, oh beautiful Muffinass, and don’t forget to put a good dollop of Genuine behind it, okay?

Yesterday at the gym I was running short on time as a result of two late-arriving and long-staying patients who all but shredded my two-hour lunch, so I didn’t feel particularly pressed to lock up my gym bag. Shit, I went a full YEAR without doing so before starting the practice and nothing negative ever happened as a result. HOWEVER, I am now down one vial of one of my favorite discontinued colognes, so if any of you have a line on some ‘Sheer Rain’ by BeautiControl, there may be a little finder’s fee in it for you. FUCKING THIEVES. WHY DON’T WE CHOP OFF HANDS HERE IN THE U.S.? Makes me –kinda– want to use the Lord’s name in vain. Sorry, God.

I have separated myself from my church. In a minute I will remember that I’m a Christian and we’re supposed to practice that ‘love’ and ‘longsuffering’ bit, with a generous dollop of teh big ess, ‘Spirituality’. When that moment comes I guess I’ll be compelled to go back. I sort of stomped my foot and yelled “FUCK!” really loud in the middle of the sanctuary before departing. It was great; y’all should have seen it.

There appears to be much travel in the cards for me here soon. Surely drunken words will pour forth from me in abundance then. Hang tight, folks.